Horoscopes, Humour

Distractions Issue Vol. VII

Distractions are back! Email theironwarrior@gmail.com to be added to the distractions newsletter mailing list.

The Funny Bits

Please enjoy these Valentine’s cards courtesy of The Iron Warrior.

Movie Recommendations

  • To feel sappy: Dear John
  • To take your mind off Valentine’s Day: John Wick
  • Cheesy movie: The Kissing Booth
  • Horror movie: Cats
  • Underrated: Portrait of a Lady on Fire


Theme: Valentine’s Day

1: US Tax Organization
4: Dwelling
9: Reddit has made this very volatile as of late
12: Dairy milk alternative
13: This tea high in vitamin C
14: Slang for a really close friend – by xxxtentacion
15: Silent language
16: Rom-com starring Kumail Nanjiani
19: Money made
22: Winter precipitation
23: UW is beyond these
24: Group, used commonly in baking
28: To feel rejoice
29: Economist known for “An Essay on the Principle of Population”
31: Prefix for British Boats
33: Beatles song, B-side of “And I Love Her”
34: UW research group founded in 1971 by Dr. Fritz
35: Organization representing Toronto Lawyers
38: Grandma
39: Answer to AITA, negative
40: Not a certain kind of butterfly
42: 1946 film starring Alan Ladd
43: Sweet this for an enemy
44: Love organ
48: Alternative to a trick
49: To bring out
50: Former name of Thailand
53: Can be read
56: February 14th day
60: Human reincarnation of Kid Buu from Dragon Ball, alternate spelling
61: Merged with NFL in 1970
62: Tennis tournaments
63: Eggs
64: Amyl
65: Capital of Yemen
66: Lock and __
1: River from Eiskarlspitze to the Danube
2: Valentine’s Day flowers
3: 2020 romance film starring Tessa Thompson
4: Real
5: Command
6: ___ to Joy
7: Gestures to bend head into the crook of the elbow
8: Screenwriter __ Cardillo of “Isn’t It Romantic”
9: video input
10: See 17 down, but in Lord of the Rings
11: Large round curved pan
17: Medieval creature
18: An auxiliary arm of the South African Defense Force from 1977 to 1989
20: Organization offering free courses created by Harvard and MIT
21: Band of the krautrock movement
25: Romance movie starring Rach McAdams
26: Unusual social groups with unusual beliefs
27: Type of steel with carbon content between 0.05% and 0.25%
29: Not max
30: Polynesian aitu, AKA Tokelau
31: Love shape
32: Reluctant spender
35: Hero of the beloved Belgian comic
36: To be delayed
37: Beer
41: Stop
44: 2004 song by My Chemical Romance
45: Formerly Vodena, a Greek city
46: Month after Jul.
47: Timeshare company
51: French IT company
52: Sponsor of the Annual Midwest Book Awards
54: True
55: Online store
56: Large vehicle, called mini
57: Naval prefix meaning near the stern
58: Commune in Southern France in Pyrenees-Orientales department
59: The ability to be able to control one’s aura from Hunter X Hunter

Answers to Crossword from Distractions Vol. VI

Check it out at: http://iwarrior.uwaterloo.ca/2021/02/01/50006/distractions-issue-vol-vi/

Horoscopes – Valentine’s Edition

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19)

Someone who you’ve been interested in will slide into your dms, but you’ll be so busy watching Netflix, you won’t notice.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

Sorry. You’re going to have a boring year this year. Cue the rom-com marathon!

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Great success in the romantic sphere awaits you. It’s okay. Someone will start to love the way you chew with your mouth open.

Taurus (April 21 – May 20)

You left the oven on after baking your Valentine’s Day goodies. Turn that off before you start a fire.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Swipe right on the first person you see today. It’ll be the best decision of the year.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Swipe left on the first person you see today. It’ll be the best decision of the year.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your Aphrodite match will be the love of your life. Well, at least for the first month. Then, you’ll change your mind.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

The Office. S5: E18 18:16-18:18

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Get the booze. It’s going to be a rough one.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 22)

Don’t eat the chocolate strawberries.

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)

Eat the chocolate strawberries.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Under no circumstances should you buy roses today.


Word Search



Editor – Ratan Varghese, Kirsten Ehlers

Writers – Kirsten Ehlers, Rabiya Majeed, Michelle Watson


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