Letter from the Editor

Hello, readers. I regret to inform you
that I am short on both the topics and
willpower required for my regular dissertations. Instead, I will endeavour to substitute philosophy for history and make
up for in romanticism anything which I
lack in substance.

To start off an a high note: it is an exquisite pleasure to come of age with the
digital era, where every day brings some
fresh new injustice to your mobile screen.
Doubtless, in a few dozen years, we will
be able to trace the ascension of Supreme
Leader Feige with the benefit of foresight,
but for the time, let us leave affairs of
state to those who know best how to mismanage them and return to the favoured
topic of engineers everywhere: how best
to have a personality.

I bought mine at a thrift shop in Scarborough when I was eight and supplemented it over the years with random bits
of ragtag knowledge I found lying on the
street. Social skills were recovered from
the back of a dumpster at a later date andafter a thorough dry cleaning- found to be
pretty much serviceable.

Through this process, I managed to
collect an eclectic array of hobbies and a
diverse set of skills as far as enunciating,
gesticulating and transcribing are concerned.

How you chose to be a well rounded
person is an affair which must be settled
between you and God, but I would like to
take this opportunity to offer my unsolicited advice in that regard.

Firstly, this scarcely needs to be said:
go listen to Mike Duncan’s Revolutions
Podcast. The French and Mexican Revolutions series together represent the pinnacle of human achievement this side of
sliced bread. Were there any semblance
of justice in the world, he would be the
exclusive recipient of every Oscar, Grammy, and Juno, general lack of eligibility

Now to inch my way towards something approaching the mainstream; the
Wheel of Time series, by Robert Jordan,
a beacon of cutting edge fantasy from
the 90s. It is a short pithy read, spanning
only fourteen books and two lifetimes. It
tells the story of a handful of farm boys
who are recruited by Lady Gandalf to
save the world from a generic evil and
who promptly all get varying brands of

If you like the Hero’s Journey, weird
gender dynamics, and poorly placed
BDSM digressions, then this is the story
for you. Soon to be an Amazon live action

If you are not entranced by any or all of
the three aforementioned points, I direct
you instead to the Stormlight Archive by
Brandon Sanderson, which has all the
heroism and adventure of Wheel of Time
without any of the impromptu spankings.
Set in a world of crabs and chickens, it
is the insufferably convoluted story of
a handful of plucky brooders who must
struggle against an ancient war, an arbitrary caste system, and a particularly
sadistic author as they attempt to avert
miscellaneous disasters which I can’t describe without spoiling.

Other fantasy series worth looking into
are; The First Law by Joe Abercrombie
if you like grimdark, Good Omens (also
on Amazon) if you like homoerotic romcoms, and The Dresden Files, if you like
urban magic and painstakingly adolescent descriptions of women’s breasts.

I would now segue into shilling for superhero comic books, but my conscience holds me back.

The comic book industry is dominated
by two giants, DC and Marvel. Fans of
the latter have long since fallen upon their
swords, while the former now exists primarily to produce squeals of existential
despair every time another beloved pop
culture icon is retconned into an amnesiac serial killer.

The initial batch of DC Rebirth books
(circa 2016) make for pretty fun reading
and were what initially drew me into the
fandom. Some highlights of that era:

Super Sons, featuring the cute gimmicky adventures of Robin and Superman’s annoying ten year old kid;

Red Hood and the Outlaws, about a former Robin’s attempt to crimelord his way into heroism and;

Green Arrow, starring a vaguely Marxist billionaire vigilante, his ninja sister, and his girlfriend who wears fi shnet

Unfortunately, the storylines fell into a
minor abyss at some point since. All I can
say is: if you need an outlet for frustrated
masochism, read superhero comics.

Now to round my way back into the arcane, I recommend that everyone should
develop their moral character by listening
to Les Miserables on repeat and belting
out the lyrics of Do You Hear the People
Sing as tunelessly as possible at precisely
midnight every Monday.

While you follow these surefire steps to
spiritual ascension, be sure not to be too
disheartened at the cruelty of your TAs or
the wanton scorn of prospective emloyers. When life seems like one damn thing after the other, substitute masochism for
misery and use your suffering to power
your kinks.

This is an especially good attitude to
have when you are undexterously juggling extracurriculars, academics and job applications. Should the whole process
prove a bit too burdensome, close your
eyes and imagine how entertaining it will
be to refl ect upon your struggles twenty
years hence, when you will have a home,
a wife, a mistress and a dog to enliven
your days.

As to the present: don’t burn out, stay
hydrated, and stay in school.
For my part, I avail that this entire
experience has been very appreciably
character building. I am grateful for the
contributions of my staff writers, for the
ability to prosyletize my hobbies, and for
whatever graphic design skills I may or
may not have gleaned from this endeavour.
To conclude with some matters of
business: I will be succeeded by Kirsten
Ehlers, and if you ever fancy soapboxing
from the Iron Warrior, swing around to a
meeting when she schedules one or nail
your missive on the front door.