Humour, Opinion

PCP: No Shave

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

Over my past four years here I have noticed that there is a continued question among engineering students. This question extends far beyond the boundaries of Ring Road and even farther than E6. So in the spirit of Movember, I would like to tell you why it is in everyone’s best interest to grow some facial hair. As someone who has had a beard and/or moustache for the better part of the last four years, I can tell you a thing or two about the benefits of having facial hair.  The first and most important rule about growing facial hair is that you have to keep it clean. This means always shampooing and CONDITIONING every time you shower. No one likes a beard/moustache that is scratchy and wiry.  There are no other rules when it comes to facial hair. Play around, have fun and pick something that works for you. Now I know you are asking “Why don’t we all grow facial hair?” To this, I have no answer, just reasons why we should. The first is that women love facial hair. Whether it’s the soft tickling feeling while they kiss you, or the idea that you could easily fight off that bear that may or may not be lurking around the next corner, people with facial hair are just that much sexier.  The second is that winter is coming. Have you ever been bald in the winter? Me neither, but I have had shorter hair and I have been clean shaven in the winter, and I have to tell you that more hair is better for the retention of heat. I can only assume that had I had a beard back in the tenth grade I would not have gotten the frostbite I got under my chin. The third reason to grow some facial hair is that it makes you easily identifiable. A lot of people at social events will have a limited memory of the goings on later the next day. This means any new friends you made the night before will have trouble remembering the new people that they met, but they will always remember the person with the beard. This is also a very good thing if you happen to run into a smidgeon of trouble after said social event. A beard is a very identifiable feature, but it is also the easiest one to alter or change. This means that if the police are looking for the person with the beard who may or may not have had anything to do with removing a goat from its location in Waterloo Park, you will be safe because no one will suspect the person with the mutton chops. All in all, to all of you doing Movember, grow your facial hair with pride and spirit, and to everyone else, why not give facial hair a try? You may be pleasantly surprised with the new look.

1 Comment

  1. Appreciate with article.

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