Miscellaneous

The Campus Survivorman Diet

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

The topic of free food on campus has been reported ad nauseum. Conferences, clubs events, seminars- but what about the apple tree by the colleges bridge, or the leafy greens along the river, or all of those golden dandelions? No one ever stops to consider that you can actually eat a large number of plants that grow on campus. So why don’t we? Aside from the fact that it’s just a little bit strange (and engineers are so normal), people just don’t know anything about the subject. This article is for the little kid in you who used to eat grass, and who still wonders what maple leaves taste like…

The other day I was invited to a campus-wide edible plants tour from the Faculty of Environment’s Ecology Lab. At first I didn’t think much of it, but when I saw that it was at the same time as my calc lab, in which I’m normally hungry, I thought I’d give it a go. Most of the plants you can eat on campus grow in discrete places, like under leaves by the river bank or tangled in thorny bushes, there is no difference between a leaf with a round stem versus a 4-sided stem. To an ecologist, it might mean the difference between an inedible species and catnip. It really helps to search with someone who knows a thing or two about plant species, because even the most distinctly-shaped plants are hard to spot. How was I supposed to know that there was a grape vine growing along the branches of a deciduous tree, and that the grape vine berries are edible “wild raisins”, while the berries from the tree are poisonous? Most of the time, there is hardly any visible difference between edible and poisonous plants. There is also discretion among books and internet sources as to what exactly is and isn’t safe to consume.

So why would anyone bother to eat wild plants at all? Aside from being free, the biggest advantage is that they are extremely nutrient-dense and energy-dense. The reason that wild lettuce tastes so bitter is that it has a much higher concentration of nutrients than store-bought lettuce. Many wild plants have medicinal properties and are boiled in teas to cure headaches and other ailments. This is also why such plants should be eaten in moderation. Too much of anything is toxic to the body. Wild mustard can add a punch of flavor to a salad, but making an entire salad out of its leaves, pods, and flowers could leave you with your head in the toilet because it’s an emetic. Buckthorn, which grows abundantly in compacted soil such as previously developed land, is also an emetic. Other plants cure fevers in low doses but induce them in high doses, cause skin rashes, or contain high concentrations of soil toxins.

Again, why eat wild plants at all?  There are differing opinions on the topic. It is more or less accepted that organic foods are more nutrient-dense than industrially-farmed plants. They don’t rely on pesticides to keep them healthy, and some people believe that these health benefits are passed on when people eat them. However, when plants grow near railways, roads, or heavily travelled pathways, they are exposed to chemicals and germs that build up daily. You might think that eating theses plants is bad for you. However, there are those who think that eating such plants makes you stronger because in order to survive, the plants must contain strong agents that counteract their toxic environments. Troll biology or health breakthrough? You decide.

If you ever are inspired to go hunting for these plants on your lunch break and actually find some, there are a few ways to prepare them. The easiest thing to do is just nibble on whatever leaf or root you’ve pulled. In terms of cooking, they can go into stir fries, salads, soups, stews, and teas. If anything else, it makes for an interesting conversation to point out and eat a seemingly arbitrary leaf while walking around Ring Road with a friend. You can also make a bandage to cover blisters out of mullaine, a soft ground leaf with antibacterial and antimicrobial properties. Burdock leaves can be used to wrap wild fish and cook over a fire. Maybe, this isn’t something you’d do on campus, but Survivorman would.

I’m not expecting anyone to start harvesting wild plants on campus after reading this article, but it’s just an interesting thing to try at least once. In the end, if you don’t know what a rutabaga looks like, chances are you wouldn’t recognize motherwort or buckthorn either. Also, chances are that if you don’t have time to make yourself a sandwich, you don’t have time to incorporate burdock into a stir fry. Finally, if you like the taste of the cookies at the C&D, chances are you won’t like the bitterness of a dandelion root, but if you never try that maple leaf, you’ll never know what you’re missing out on.

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