Quarter-Life Crisis at 21

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

I recently came to the stunning conclusion I am having a quarter life crisis at 21. Here is the story of how it came about.

I was moving back to V1, and everything was going find and dandy. Suddenly the don comes into my room. She is very nice and introduces herself. The only problem is suddenly I realize, I have done this before, I did it when I was a frosh. That made me start thinking,

I am old,

At this point, I should explain what the quarter life crisis is to anyone who is not familiar. What I know comes from my high school history teacher, where he had a lecture go really off topic one day. The quarter life crisis is similar to the mid-life crisis. Usually, it occurs after a person graduates but before they reach 30. The quarter life crisis starts with the realization “I am no longer young.” Next, the person loses the aura of invincibility, something everyone had from high school. Finally, the person hits rock bottom, realizing they will not be the Vince Carter or Tom Cruise they imagined they would be by the time they were 30.

Back to my experience, 30 seconds after realizing I am old, this chill comes across my body. Suddenly I feel old, and not quite as invincible as before. The idea 3A would be all fun and games go AWOL, replaced by the idea of three long months of torture. Next, my delusions that Microsoft will finally hire me vanish. I think, “I probably will not find a job at all”. At this point, 60 seconds have passed since this all started, but I thought it had lasted an eternity.

Now I start getting very depressed. As a teenager, I always assumed I would be richer then Bill Gates and win 10 Nobel prizes. However, where am I now? Just another poor student looking for any job that will pay for tuition. My dream of Nobel prizes, they disappeared in 1A when I received my report card. What have I done in my life, nothing, nothing of consequence. I could make out my future right there and then, and it was depressing. I was becoming just another Joe Blow, a perfectly ordinary person never destined stand out from the crowd.

I wondered how it had all come to this. I always ate correctly, got those necessary fruits and vegetables; I studied hard in high school. I never smoked, or picked up any of those bad habits my parents said I should avoid. Nevertheless, why did I end up being so mundane? And even worse, so old?

But just then, the darkness lifted, and the world looked sunny again. I smiled, the crisis was over.

Oh did I tell you how the quarter life crisis ends? You realize you are only a twenty something. A crisis is when you hit 40.

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