What do we associate with university campuses? Higher learning. Lifelong connections. Empowerment. Equal opportunity.
At least, these are ideas that should be associated with campuses.
But there is also the darker side. One that causes many students—females, mostly—to feel uncomfortable walking home alone after dark. To feel that they must always be cautious and aware. We hear so many horror stories because the truth is that sexual violence is a real problem on campuses. It’s disturbing and out of place, and should not exist, but it does. It is a topic that is difficult to discuss for all parties but it needs to be discussed more often, and campuses need to provide a safe space for students to do so.
These are just some of the many ideas I took away from the presentation I attended on September 29 in QNC by Dr. Rachel Alicia Griffin on the topic of sexual violence, social justice, and compassion.
Dr. Griffin is an associate professor in the Department of Communication Studies at South Illinois University, cross-appointed in Africana Studies and Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. She is the recipient of several awards and has been published in several journals. She has been advocating against sexual violence for over a decade and has given over 100 keynotes at campuses and conferences.
As a survivor, she delivered a very powerful and compelling presentation, and shared her personal story of how she was raped in high school by a boy she liked in her own home. She didn’t talk about what had happened for a long time, instead ending up on a self-destructive path to do anything and everything to try to feel better. She tried to be the best, the brightest, and the prettiest, but nothing could take away her feelings of worthlessness.
Seven years later, she finally shared her story with a peer support advocate at her university, who responded with, “I believe you. It’s not your fault.” Dr. Griffin says that student saved her. The Dr. Griffin we saw in front of us would not exist if her story had been greeted with doubt or blame.
I wish everyone on campus could have attended. In Dr. Griffin’s own words, “if everyday people just like me, and everyday people just like you, really understood what rape feels like, then people and campuses and governments alike could consistently respond to survivors with compassion and support.” I think if more people would have heard her inspiring words and her moving story, they would be less likely to dismiss rape and rape victims.
But unfortunately, everyone on campus did not attend, which is why I am here to pass on a couple messages.
“Consent Should Be Enthusiastic!!!”
If sex is not consensual, then it is some form of sexual violence or harassment. “Drunken, murky, maybe, or unspoken” consent is not consent.
“Acknowledging Statistical Truth is not Male Bashing”
Statistically, it is more common for women to be victims of sexual violence and it is more common for men to be perpetrators. According to Canada’s Department of Justice, women account for 85% of sexual offences reported to the police and men are the accused in 97% of cases. However, this (obviously) in no way means that all men are rapists.
Be Compassionate
Dr. Griffin says “Survivors are people just like me and you. We have hopes, dreams, and fears… survivors can be anyone and can be anything.” It’s never okay to blame survivors because of what was done to them. Remember that they are people too, just like anyone else, and deserve the same treatment and respect.
She talks about how perpetrators are also human, and therefore also deserve compassion. A lot of perpetrators feel scared and alone after realizing what they have done, and therefore should not be demonized. Dealing with the situation should be left up to the law.
Keep Your Doubts to Yourself
If someone approaches you to tell their story, be supportive. She says that, as humans, it’s perfectly fine to doubt a person’s story, but that isn’t our place to vocalize. Never question whether that really happened. Instead, direct them to a licensed professional so they can get the help they need.
She also says, “We don’t have to sacrifice believing survivors because we are afraid of maltreating perpetrators.” Again, everyone deserves compassion, but it does not have to be a trade-off.
Build a Positive Campus Culture
It is so important to build a campus culture which states, “We believe survivors. Period.” Survivors should feel comfortable and safe coming forward and saying, “I am hurt. I need help.” Campuses need to make an effort to actively prevent sexual violence, because without this effort they are effectively condoning it.
Actress and UN Women Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson communicated many of the same messages in her speech to the UN on Tuesday, September 20, where she was introducing HeForShe’s Impact 10x10x10 plan. This initiative will include ten heads of state, ten global CEOs, and ten university presidents in the goal of erasing sexual violence from university campuses. She pointed out that inequality definitely exists in post-secondary institutions, although they should be a “place of refuge that takes action against all forms of violence.” She then questions the current culture on many campuses which send “the message that sexual violence isn’t actually a form of violence.”
Rape culture exists. Look at Donald Trump’s latest antics, for example: let’s not pretend the controversy is over his “lewd comments”; the issue is that he unremorsefully acknowledged the attempted rape of a married woman. Sexual violence is becoming more of a discussion point, especially following the Brock Turner case—the case in which the Stanford swimmer raped an unconscious girl at a party, and then served only three months of a six-month sentence. Side note: in theory, Turner would have served longer for possessing weed. Does this make sense to anyone?
Stories like these come up time and again, and there are scary statistics to back them up.
Between one-in-three and one-in-six women will experience some form of sexual violence in their lifetime, and the accused is known to the victim in the vast majority of cases. Sexual assault is reported about 20% of the time, and, when it is, it rarely reaches the prosecution or conviction phase. Additionally, we continually see victim-blaming and slut-shaming, while the perpetrators are excused because of , for example, their athletic records like in Turner’s case. Factors such as alcohol and clothing choices are cited, but ironically, in Dr. Griffin’s words, “Rarely does rapists make the list of things that cause rape.” This kind of attitude and culture will never make victims feel safe to come forward and ask for help.
Sexual violence is a real topic that needs to be discussed a lot more often than it is. I attended Dr. Griffin’s speech that day because, as an ally, sexual violence is a topic that I am passionate about. I believe that rape culture is a key point that feminists should be focused on. And I don’t just mean females—we need men on our side, as well. If we want to see real change, everyone needs to be talking and aware. As Dr. Griffin says, “This is an all-hands-on-deck journey.”
What to Do if You Need Help
We are lucky to live in a province that is taking an active stance against sexual violence. Ontario’s Sexual Violence and Harassment Plan Act mandates the implementation of sexual violence policies at every Ontario college and university, to be reviewed every three years. Premier Kathleen Wynne has said “Our action plan is a roadmap to taking action to end sexual violence and harassment in Ontario—through raising public awareness, helping survivors, and strengthening laws to protect workplaces and campuses. By working together, we can help make sure everyone in Ontario can live free from violence or harassment.” There are also several campaigns in place, such as “It’s Never Okay” and #WhoWillYouHelp.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need help, know that the University of Waterloo supports survivors.
Remember: it is NEVER your fault. Don’t let yourself think, or anyone else tell you, otherwise.
Seek medical attention. The Waterloo Region Sexual Assault Treatment Centre is located at St Mary’s Hospital.
Consider reporting the assault, but don’t feel pressured to do so. This is your choice.
The following resources are available:
- University of Waterloo Health Services: 519-888-4096
- University of Waterloo Counselling Services: 519-888-4567 Extension 32655
- Waterloo Region Sexual Assault Treatment Centre: 519-749-6994
- St Mary’s Hospital: 519-744-4311
- Sexual Assault Support Centre of Waterloo Region: 519-741-8633 (24 hour), 519-571-0121 (office)
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