Miscellaneous

The Royal Flush – The Best (and Worst) Bathrooms UW Has to Offer

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

***Includes Photos***

After almost 5 years here, one of the most important lessons I have learned is to choose your bathroom wisely. Many a desperate student has entered one of the bathrooms on campus only to find a long line, or a cleaning sign blocking their way to relief. Or perhaps you have been dissatisfied with an on-campus bathroom experience and have longed to be in your own comfortable, private bathroom at home. Well have no fear – The Royal Flush is here to show you where to go when you gotta go.

So let’s start with DWE. If you are female, DWE is pretty undesirable in terms of washrooms. There is only one easily accessible bathroom, and it’s on the second floor. It is always packed during break times. However, if you have the time the bathroom in the basement near RCH is excellent. It is usually very private, with a large number of fine stalls to choose from. If you are male, well lucky you! It’s like DWE was made with you in mind. Bathrooms are plentiful, and are clearly not an afterthought like the women’s washrooms were.

CPH has a very odd distribution of bathrooms which follow what I like to call the “Dean’s Proximity Rule.” Basically, the closer you get to the fourth floor, the better the washrooms get in terms of cleanliness, privacy, and repair. On the fourth floor, the women’s washroom even has an attached room with a couch! This is a great place to have a private chat.

E2 is a very hit or miss building for bathrooms. On the first floor near the computer labs are what I think are the most used bathrooms in the engineering buildings. They are not in the best shape, and terrible for privacy. However, the women’s washroom does boast a private wheelchair bathroom – complete with a couch, and a handy ledge. On the second floor the bathrooms are pretty typical – except for what is my favourite bathroom on campus. It can only be used after office hours because it is a staff washroom. It has a ton of lovely plants, big windows, a couch, and magazines. It is extremely private, super clean, in perfect repair, and entirely free of graffiti. Be sure to use staff washrooms only after hours and to keep them pristine. The third floor of E2 is unremarkable.

E3 is a very puzzling building for washrooms. It has one women’s bathroom which has an industrial hand cleaner perfect for removing grease. However, that is where the awesomeness ends. The men’s washroom boasts showers and lockers…apparently the designers of the building never intended for a women to work in the labs and require a shower afterwards. But have no fear, I have used the showers many times and every time has been a pleasant experience. Just be sure to have someone on lookout to prevent any embarrassing situations.

E5 is quite simply lovely in terms of washrooms – all of them are sparkling brand new. However – if you want to fill your water bottle anywhere in the building you won’t be able to. There are no water fountains, and the bathroom water takes a really long time to get cold (a few minutes). Apparently the architect enjoys the thought of dehydrated students.

RCH follows a similar rule to CPH – the best bathrooms are at the top. The women’s bathroom on the second floor is kinda scary…it is basically falling apart – as of this week, one of the stalls no longer has a lock. The bathroom is very small, smells like it has no ventilation, feels like a cave, and is painted in circus colours. I don’t recommend using it unless you absolutely have to. On the bottom floor there are single private bathrooms. On one hand, the privacy is amazing. On the other hand, they are never clean, and they are very busy during break times. Make your own call on this one – but I always just go up to the third floor.

Unfortunately, I have still not visited all of the bathrooms on campus. But I have visited quite a few and EIT’s first floor easily has the best bathrooms on campus as far as I know. The bathrooms are very clean, pretty, and reasonably private. Just watch out for the crowds of children visiting the museum sometimes – they can turn these bathrooms into the ninth circle of hell in under 10 minutes. I have seen it, and it was not pretty. But the risk is totally worth it. Also, occasionally (especially in the older buildings on campus) you can find the holy grail of UW’s bathrooms – the secret bathrooms. I have found one such bathroom and have never seen anyone else in its one stall. Rumours are that there are several of these bathrooms – but you will have to find them for yourself!

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