Engineering Wellness: What a Counselling Appointment Is and Is Not

A recurring theme in this year’s Engineering Wellness column has been the suggestion to go and book a counselling appointment. I started seeing counsellors at Waterloo this year, and I am a huge advocate of the service for many reasons: it’s helpful, it’s confidential, and it’s free. That being said, many students may still not know what you may be able to achieve with a counsellor. Therefore, this article will tell you what a counselling appointment is…and isn’t.

1. A counsellor will help you clarify your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The number one benefit of going to counselling appointments is the process of figuring out what you may be feeling or thinking, and receiving guidance on why you may be thinking or feeling a certain way. Such introspection may seem strange at first, but if you’re struggling with feelings you can’t explain or control, or unwanted thoughts, a counsellor can help you gently probe them to achieve clarity into a difficult situation. A counsellor can also give guidance on how to restructure thoughts or feelings, how to understand our biases making decisions or looking at a situation, and—especially if you have a lot of negative emotions or energy in your life—how to redirect your energy into a more positive and healthy outlet. These may not be instantaneous results, but with diligence, they are achievable.

2. A counsellor will not tell you what to do. There have been countless times when I’ve gone into a counselling appointment with the expectation that a counsellor will tell me the best decision, or best course of action, in a conflict. Let me vehemently state that most counsellors will not do this. As stated above, they may guide you in your decision making process, and they may make you aware of the biases you have when making a decision, but ultimately, you will have the final say. This is for two reasons: first, a counsellor may not want to be held responsible for the decision you make; and second, part of counselling is to help you achieve independence and responsibility in your life. As my counsellor is fond of saying, the goal of counselling appointments is to make you ready for the day when you no longer need a counsellor.

3. A counsellor won’t clinically diagnose you with a mental illness. If you think you’re suffering from depression, anxiety, or need medication for any mental illness, a counsellor will not be able to do this for you. You need to speak to a physician (e.g., at Health Services), who will be able to assist you with proper diagnosis and treatment. However, a counsellor can make a referral to a physician, if you think you exhibit symptoms of a mental illness.

4. A counsellor will be able to assist you in groups. If you need relationship counselling with friends, family, or a significant other, a counsellor will be able to meet with you in a group setting. In such situations, and especially if you have been seeing your counsellor for an extended period of time, your counsellor may first take you aside to determine what he or she is allowed to reveal to the rest of the group, and to determine if you are truly comfortable with the other members attending the appointment. Nevertheless, these appointments may be helpful if you require a third-party mediator who is looking out for you, and your family or friends’, best interests.

5. A counsellor won’t make your problems disappear. Whether you’re struggling with academics or your personal life, it’s important to realize that counselling is not a quick-fix to daily problems. A counsellor is not the person who will bail you out of that assignment due tomorrow. Nor can a counsellor really make your stress, or bad mood, go away. However, a counsellor can give you strategies or resources to increase your coping mechanisms in times of stress, and a counsellor may give you strategies and suggestions on time management if you’re struggling academically. It’s important to see counselling as a tool that can teach you how to deal with tough situations more effectively. It’s not a magic button that can fix your life.

6. A counsellor can leave you feeling empowered and inspired. Counselling is all about improving problem solving strategies. There have been many times when I’ve gone into a counselling appointment feeling very confused or quite hopeless about a situation. However, a counsellor may give you many perspectives that you might not have considered, and may give you tools and techniques to deal with difficult situations. However, the key is to remember that you, as the client, must be willing to put in work too. I initially started going to counselling appointments with the expectations that I would simply talk my feelings out, but now, I take a pen and a book with me to write down any suggestions my counsellor may have to offer. Increasing your coping mechanisms is like building stamina—it’s not enough to do it once. You have to do it continuously, and with conscious effort. And a counselling appointment may give you the motivation you need to get started!

To book a counselling appointment, visit Needles Hall, Room 2080, or Room 1320 in CPH (the First Year Undergraduate Office).