In Hollywood movies everything culminates in a kiss. Tension builds through the movie until finally it is released torrentially in some fantastic romantic scene. We seem to gain satisfaction when those two people, often the ones you have been rooting for all along finally become passionately lip locked. Bond is well known for his romancing ways; his movies often end with him smooching in some life raft or other similarly hidden escape. So what is so great about kissing? What makes us desire it so much? How did we evolve to desire this form of physical contact so much?
That first kiss can be a deal breaker for a potential relationship. Women, in particular, place a great deal of importance on the first kiss and use frequency and quality of kisses to judge the status of the relationship forever after. Scientific research seems to suggest that kissing is a way to seduce and assess your potential mate. In a culture where many people have large personal bubbles and mask their natural scents with perfumes and deodorants, a kiss is the first point of physical contact. Without us realizing it, our bodies compare the other persons’ immune system and other genetic traits to our own, subtly testing our genetic compatibility. Furthermore, kissing has been found to transfer testosterone from men to their partners, which generally increases their partners’ arousal.
How you go about getting this first kiss is not rocket science, but to some it probably feels pretty close. At least rocket science can be learned on your own, no human interaction required. Luckily to prevent you from crashing and burning in either situation, the internet has your back. A Google search of ‘kissing’ or ‘first kiss’ bring up plenty of articles, including WikiHow articles (with pictures!) which are fairly useful. They raise some good points in addition to providing step-by-step instructions. Primarily, one should note that physical intimacy is a two-way street. Before going in for the kiss, you need to break the ‘touch barrier’ by holding hands, putting an arm around the other person, or perhaps brushing their hair out of their eyes. Start small and pay attention to the other person. If you are comfortably maintaining eye contact, then you may be safe to kiss the other person. Even so, give them lots of chances to say no. Seek out a private spot, where there is less pressure for the other person who might be undecided about how much they like you and how they like you. Start out by simply brushing your lips against theirs. (Eye contact can help with aiming your kiss.) Further kissing will be decided by the moment, techniques for which can be found online. Interestingly, about 2 out of every 3 people turn their heads to the right when kissing, so you have a higher chance of not bumping noses if you turn your head to the right. Who knows, they might have researched kissing statistics too!
Kissing is not as simple as one might believe. Like anything, it is the product of much practice and some good luck. Some people make it seem effortless while others can experience endless awkwardness. Best of luck in your endeavours of the heart.
Leave a Reply