Weight = 91 MILLION pounds
Bucket (giant ass saw) diameter = 70 feet
Top speed = 0.5 kph
Friends, frosh, and fans welcome to another term of Big Things. We’re starting off colossal with Greenpeace’s worst nightmare – the V CAT D8R. Its only purpose is to obliterate the earth at a rate of 76,455 cubic meters per day. That’s enough volume to fill 2 Olympic sized pools every hour but who cares? More importantly you could dig a 1000 ft deep hole on your crappy student ghetto lawn in about two and half hours. Of course you would need 10,526 dump trucks to haul the dirt mixed with the pieces of your neighbour’s dog but if you can afford this $100 million digger it shouldn’t be a problem. Forget blending iPads, this rotating death wheel will blend a goddamn city!
Guys I’m gunna be honest, I couldn’t even find a picture of a hole made by the D8R. My guesses are:
-The manufacturer realized that there is no way anybody would ever need something like this
-Fear of the 5 man crew going ‘rogue’ and digging to the center of the earth
-Stuck in its own hole (heh)
I want to talk about the max speed of this sexy behemoth. So you say ‘Will half a kph is not fast’. Yeah? When’s the last time you moved 91 million pounds at that speed? We are talking about enough momentum to get half of RCH and its disgusting wall-carpet-head-stains to orbital escape velocity. Not too shabby eh?
Try to imagine the INSANE amount of torque at the end of the rotating death wheel. Now trying imagining the poor bastard that started designing this beast by writing F = MA on a piece of paper. I have no idea how this thing does not just explode when it fires up. Maybe it’s because it was built by the Germans – and everyone knows they make good stuff. Big things rock!
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