Humour, Tin Soldier, Uncategorized

Heartbreaking: Coop Student Bought a Suit, Still Doesn’t get Cali Offer

Many STEM students in the Waterloo
coop program look towards achieving
their goal of landing an internship in the
US; particularly a job in Silicon Valley,
due to its impressively delicious In-n-out
Burger menus. In order to prepare for coop
hiring season, students often go through
drastic measures such as skipping class to
practice LeetCode, using a two-column
resume and writing blank cover letters. In
one particular case, this student focused
more on other factors in an attempt to
finally land a Cali job.

Earlier this month, an anonymous
second year student posting under the
username “fr3shPr1nce0fCali” revealed
on a popular University of Waterloo
forum that they had spent about $1,800
on a tailored suit believing that he would
do better on interviews and receive more
job offers. Yet, after buying a custom suit
made from fi ne Italian wool, bringing
mouthwash with him to the Tatham
Centre, and practicing technical questions
in the mirror, he has still not received his
anticipated Cali offer.

“Despite my lack of cali offers i like
to believe that i did quite well on all my
other interviews with my suit, i dont
understand why Cali employers dont give
me offers i always laugh at their jokes
call them by their last name and act like
a gentleman during the interview [sic]”.
Upon being asked for their GitHub and
LeetCode profi les, the student became
quite defensive and proceeded on a tirade
about employers.

“Why would i need github? Or
leetcode? github and leetcode are just
superficial and its all employers care
about. They never care to look at my
awards or my linkedin connections its
honestly there loss [sic]”
When asked about their other job
offers, fr3shPr1nce0fCali has claimed to
have declined them all because they were
not in California.

“i deserve a cali job and i know that.
ive honestly considered switching to
UofT because its obvious that employers
just dont value my education here if they
aren’t hiring someone as skilled as i am

Just devastating.

“fr3shPr1nce0fCali” has done all
he could to establish rapport with his
interviewers, have nice smelling breath
and wear a quality suit, but has yet to fi nd
the job of his dreams. Of course there is
the route of practicing coding questions
and working on side projects, but such
qualities shouldn’t really matter when
you are wearing a $1,800 Italian suit.

We’ve contacted “fr3shPr1nce0fCali”
for an update this past week, but he
has yet to respond to us. Hopefully
“fr3shPr1nce0fCali” can get eventually
that Cali offer he desperately yearns for.