Sports

Superbowl XLIX: Gridiron Glory!

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

One Sunday every year, America sits down for its favorite holiday: Superbowl Sunday. A day full of greasy food, the greatest game in the country and more beer than any one nation should drink in a day. Every year it comes down to two teams, the AFC champion versus their counterpart from the NFC.

This year the teams were undeniably the very best in the league: the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots. The Best in the West faced the Beast from the East. On defense, New England brought Vince Wilfork, defensive lineman and superhero, who two weeks prior rescued a woman from her overturned car, and Darrell Revis, a veteran defensive back who is hailed as one of the greatest in the game. Seattle matched with the Legion of Boom, led by their ringmaster Richard Sherman. The Seahawks also boasted quarterback Russell Wilson, a third year sensation who can beat defenses with his arm as well as his feet, and Beast-Mode himself, Marshawn Lynch, one of the most dangerous and destructive running backs in the game. The man driving the Patriot’s offense needs no introduction: Tom Brady, three time Superbowl champion, two time MVP. Even the sidelines this year were legendary, featuring the genius head coach Bill Belichick in New England, and his counterpart Pete Carrol, a defensive mastermind.

Neither team really came out swinging in the first quarter, both failing to cross mid field on their first possessions. Then Brady did what Brady does and drove slowly down the field to the Seattle 10 and things were looking up. He threw to Danny Amendola on the goal line but the Legion of Boom struck first: Jeremy Lane intercepted the throw and ran it to the sideline before being brutally hit by Julian Edelman, injuring his wrist. He wouldn’t return to the game, and the momentum gained by his interception quickly disappeared in his absence. Seattle punted it away a minute into the second quarter.

Lane was replaced by Tharold Simon. This created mismatch opportunities on the outside for the Pats offense. Simon got beat four minutes and ten seconds later for the first touchdown of the game, putting the Pats up by 7.

Wilson tossed one deep to Chris Matthews who came up HUGE. Who’s Chris Matthews? An undrafted rookie who was working in a Footlocker a few months before the game and had to leave work early to make his flight to Seattle to the tryout. Imagine explaining that to your boss. A few plays later Lynch crashed in to the end zone to tie it at 7. Then Brady did it again, tossing one to Gronk, who spiked the ball to the center of the Earth.

The score was 14-7 Pats with thirty seconds left, but the Hawks tied it with a 11 yard pass to Matthews (the undrafted rookie) with two seconds left.

During halftime, Katy Perry was pretty sick. Lenny Kravitz came up for about 30 seconds, Left Shark was a hero. Even Missy Elliot showed up.

In the second half, Seattle starts off with a field goal, putting the Hawks up by 3. The Pats score a touchdown through veteran receiver Doug Baldwin. Baldwin dances a little bit too much and gets penalized for excessive celebration. Really? This is one of the largest games on the planet. Is there a way to celebrate TOO MUCH when you’re winning? Okay, ref. Pats are down by 10, the quarter expires, and the Patriots get the ball back. There are twelve minutes left.

Two hundred million people are watching the best Superbowl in recent memory and it’s still anyone’s game. Brady gets sacked for 8 yards and the West Coast roars. Things aren’t looking good for the Brady Bunch, especially when Sherman gets called for unnecessary roughness, until Amendola is able to sneak through coverage and grab a perfect pass for the touchdown. The Hawks are up by 3.

The end draws close and this is it. Brady knows it’s his last chance. Tom, Bill and Josh McDaniels, the Pats offensive coordinator, have a pow-wow at their sideline, and draw up the plan. LaGarrette Blount smashes up the middle for 2 yards, and from the Seattle 3 on the next play. Brady gets even with the Legion of Boom for his first pick, hitting Edelman on almost the same play he was picked off on in the 1st quarter.

With two minutes left, the Hawks are down by 4, with 80 yards to the end zone. All or nothing. This is the two minute drill in action. Lynch catches a pass deep before being brought down. Two incomplete passes.  Short pass to Ricardo Lockette, who picks up 11 yards. 1st and 10, Wilson airs it out to Jermaine Kearse. The ball is contested in the air, and both the receiver and defensive back fall down. The ball wobbles, bounces off both of Kearse’s thighs as he lands on his back, one after the other, before popping out over his chest where he grabs it effortlessly. Personally I think the whole thing was planned. New England remembers when David Tyree caught Eli Manning’s against his helmet (the infamous Helmet Catch) almost 7 years ago on the same field.

Seattle is now at the New England 5 yard line with one minute left. The entire population of Boston is holding their breath. They know what’s coming: a rumbling Lynch TD to finish the game off. They appear to be right on the first play from 5, as Lynch blasts forward 2 yards. Seattle runs the clock, trying to avoid last second heroics by Brady. This is it; they’re down at the line with the best player on the field, Marshawn Lynch, in the backfield. The Seahawks are going to win.

Wilson gets the snap, but doesn’t give it to Lynch. He passes to Lockette on the goal line. A New England linebacker jumps in front of the ball, and catches it before falling down at the 2 yard line. His name is Malcolm Butler, an undrafted rookie, and he has just won Superbowl XLIX for the Patriots. Another Lombardi Trophy will sit forever in Foxborough, enshrined to the glory that was the end of the 2014 NFL season. And Tom Brady, the man behind it all, wins his third Superbowl MVP award.

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