She turns, glossy hair cascading down her back, stray strands framing a heart shaped face. As she talks to him, her teeth flash white when she smiles with lip gloss emphasizing the plump youthfulness of her lips. Steady eyes regard him from beneath finely arched eyebrows as she asks him questions. He has a masculine face, with symmetrical features, thick brows, and a muscled physique. But what he looks like is not as important to her as what he does – for money, I mean. As his eyes drift to inspect the ampleness of her chest she is gently teasing out details of his life. Does he make lots of money? How does he spend it? Where is he from? What is his education?
They say people love through their hearts. But apart from permitting life sustaining blood circulation, the heart has little to do with it. We feel attraction and form attachments through mostly non verbal cues. Pheromones and sense of smell play a vital role. Studies show a definite correlation between sense of smell and compatibility, some even going as far as to premise that those with a worse sense of smell are more likely to date douche bags…ahem, people of less-than-magnificent character. This has to do with the major histocompatibility complex (MHC), a section of genes which help create a scent unique to each of us. Our personal smell pre-perfumery also reflects our immune systems. Dr. Rachel Herz of Brown University theorized that we are attracted to people with dissimilar, even opposite immune systems, a fact determined through scent. The scent sensitivity is most prevalent in women since it allows better analysis of genetic compatibility for potential future children. So, if you are looking to impress that lady friend, try dialing down the artificial scents!
The dating game is a little bit like Jobmine, where random chance acts like the algorithm matching best suited options. Studies by Dr. Douglas Kenrick have found that people who are already in a relationship will actually dance more provocatively and show more skin than their single friends. Flirting is an art which everyone is supposed magically know after puberty – not that we necessarily do. Pupil size can also be an indicator of attraction. Men look for large pupil sizes in women while women look for medium sized pupils in men, while men with large pupils are associated with being ‘bad boys’. The smaller your pupils, the colder you will feel. Of course, dark rooms also cause pupils to enlarge so this isn’t a fast and dirty rule of whether people are attracted to you. So not only do you have to sort out the people you find attractive from the people you find unattractive, you also have to make sure they are single.
By now you might be thinking, ‘Dammit Jim, I’m an engineer, not an eugenicist!’ In our line of study, logic and knowledge are driving forces behind our decision making, not emotions. Does this affect how we are attracted to others? Do engineers as a group look for slightly different traits than your average Joe, or are we subject to the same primordial genetic coding as the next guy (or girl)? Whether or not that is true is currently unknown; perhaps enough engineers probably couldn’t be cajoled to participate in such an experiment. Time is of the essence during our undergrad as we juggle busy schedules, grueling assignments, hobbies and the occasional obligatory visits to our families. We spend more time with our class than with anyone else; it is like our family. In some cases, it is a very male-biased family. For many of us, this is also a window of opportunity before we go on to create our careers. Many engineering jobs can be rewarding but socially isolating. Yes, we might want a family ten or fifteen years down the road, but how will you meet that person? Now is the time to meet people, not the people we see every day, other people. It is a fine balance, between maintaining good professional class relationships and being good friends.
In the end, we might not be the ideal couple described at the beginning of this article but simply people. If you are one of the 80% of male undergrads in engineering there is hope for you, deep down women are looking for a reliable mate to care for potential offspring. Intelligence is highly valued as is a stable income. Life goes on, maybe love is what happens along the way when you are least expecting. This is the science of attraction, but not everything can be explained by science.
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