Humour, Tin Soldier

Thoughts of a Leaf: Fall is Coming

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

Sway. Sway. Swaaaaaaay. ‘Tis such a nice day today. The sun is bright, and the world is light. I like light. Light helps me produce sugar. I like sugar. Sugar is food. I like food. But I do NOT like BEING food. Stupid caterpillars. The sugar I make is NOT for you. MAY THE BIRDS EAT ALL OF YOU. It’s for ME. Not that I’m a self-cannibal or anything. And butterflies are kind of pretty.

Oooh look, it’s a squirrel! Urgh, it’s running at me. Please don’t kick me please don’t kick me, please don’t kick me. It stepped on me. Now I have a crease. I hope you fall off the end of the branch, you annoying rodent.

There is light, but it is not very warm. Fall must be coming, and I’ll need a new look. They say orange will be the new green this season. I don’t know though. I liked the classic yellow look. Or I could be daring and go for a bold red hue. I’d certainly stand out on the branch. I’d better hurry or else the snobby elite top leaves will start the trend instead. They think they’re so much better than us. It’s unfair that 20% of the tree gets so much of the sun’s wealth. That way, they get to stay on top of the trends.

There is light, but I kind of want rain now. I’m thirsty, and some water would be nice. The weather has been sunny for a while. But things must be balanced to be good. Sun and rain. Light and water. They both help me make sugar. I like sugar. I’ve been through this before.

Maybe the Leaf God will send us rain. I can see him now. He is perched up there, on the long, grey, branchless tree. Bigger and higher than any of us. He is untouchable. He is beautiful. Maybe I can copy his beautiful red colour. On windy days, He waves at us, and we wave back.

Swaaay. That’s a nice breeze. I like swaying. I also like fluttering around like an epileptic…leaf. Flutter flutter flutter. When we all flutter, it’s like we’re all waving at the passing humans. They never wave back though. Never. Instead, they kill us.

Leave a Reply