Welcome lovely people.
This is a message to all those who might be feeling down, who might be feeling it’s rough, and who might be feeling it’s tough.
It’s that time of the year. Stress is about as high as it gets. Midterms have started. Projects are almost due. Courses are reaching that point where we stop understanding what’s going on. And, we are making those social sacrifices to keep our busy lives afloat. If you are like me, you also have those people in your life who don’t understand how busy engineering at Waterloo can be. They just keep nagging you to give them more time even though you have none. In the end, this is compounded by the fact that we are stuck inside for most of the light hours.
It sounds pretty bad. Many people question why we put ourselves through this. Some do it for the money. Some do it to learn. Some do it for themselves. Some do it because their parents tell them to. And, some do it because they thought it might be a challenge. Whatever the reason, we are here; we all share the goal of making it to the end. We all want to be one of the crazy fourth years running around campus and banging our rings on every shiny object we can find. None of us want to fail a course, not to mention a semester. And, most of us have never failed in anything academic in our lives before making it to Waterloo.
But, what we want can’t always be reached. Waterloo accepts the top talent from around Canada. That’s right, all those people in your class did remarkably well before coming here as well. The university needs to be able to distinguish between the different top students. The better we do, the harder it will get. This means that some people will fail tests. Some people will fail courses. And some people going into university with a 90%+ average will be forced to repeat terms and consider alternate programs. Most of us will reach breaking points: where our lives and school collide in a way that can’t simply be rearranged and solved.
I know of these things first hand. I was one of those students in high school that didn’t understand the meaning of anything less than 85%. I came to university excited and naive: I thought my program would be fun and full of people as eccentric as me. I was proven wrong. I got here and found that math is very different in Ontario than it is in British Columbia. I was overwhelmed by linear algebra and the time requirements of a university program. I found the people in my class weren’t quite as weird and interesting as I had hoped. Through this, I have been plagued by having to deal with my parent’s divorce; nonetheless, I passed 1A and went on to 1B.
However, I let my personal life get the best of me over 1B. I failed a course with below 30%, and was forced to repeat the term. This is somebody who has never failed a course. The hardest thing I have ever done is explain to people that I failed something. I had to explain to people that invincible Chris, the person who is known for being able to do it all without faulting, has had a year of his life taken away by a simple grade. Certain people were considerably not impressed. My dad was emailing the undergraduate chair of my department to try and convince him something must have been done wrong on their part. Times can get tough, and I have certainly seen it in many ways.
You say, “Why are you telling me about this?” I want to make sure you understand that the experience we are going through can be hard. We can all fail. But more importantly, we can all recover. After my failures, I reconnected with my friends back in BC and relied on them for support. I came back to 1B and passed. I am now in 3B, and am on track to graduate in 2013. Once I had accepted the failure, it was easier to make adjustments to my lifestyle to fix it. The truth is, there are many resources at the university to help you get on track academically. Attending TA office hours, actually doing the non-required homework, and getting your classmates to explain things to you are all options for academic help. If you don’t want to work that hard, then there are other programs. Consider switching to a different engineering, into pre-med, or even into pre-law.
You can be the smartest person in the world, but you likely won’t succeed unless stay emotionally healthy. The statistics are not consistent, but somewhere between one in five and one in ten people suffer from depression. Chances are, there is a person sitting in the same row as you in class that knows more than they would like about this topic. I will draw on personal experience here again and inform you that I personally know depression far too well. I had to deal with it for a large amount in high school, and for a bit in my 2A term. Being depressed can be really difficult to get out by one’s own; especially when you have completely legitimate reasons to be depressed. I escaped it the first time by keeping friends around me that I actually enjoyed for their company and by reminding myself that if the world is so bad, then I’m going to try and fix it. I brought myself back up in 2A by becoming more physically active.
You say, “Chris, why are you talking so much about yourself? Why are you talking about how hard life gets? Where are you going with this?” I want to make sure that everybody out there knows they are not alone. We are in a hard program and life can be tough. But, you are not alone. Whether you find yourself struggling or you find yourself sad; you are not alone. I think the two-week wait for a personal councillor in the engineering undergraduate office is a clear enough statement about how many of the people in this faculty have concerns in their personal life. So many of us, especially here, know what you are feeling. And, there are many places to get help.
The best place to find help is in a friend. But, we are not all lucky enough to have somebody close enough that we would trust to talk with about these sorts of things. In that case, don’t worry about them being your friend. Most of us know how hard things get and the people around you will be willing to talk to you if you need somebody. If talking to a peer doesn’t work for you, then there are other people to talk to. If you can’t wait the two weeks for an engineering councillor, there are more in Needles Hall.
If talking to people doesn’t work for you, there are some good ways to improve your satisfaction with your life. For one, try getting outside more. Reading outside in the daytime is a good way to do this while being physically active. This can be going to the gym or some outdoor sport. This is best if you can find somebody to join you. Also, stay in areas with lots of people; Humans are social animals, so seeing other people (to an extent) can help improve our mood. You can accomplish this by doing your studying more often in common space or by joining a club.
If you know you need help, but you feel the resources at the university are inadequate, I encourage you to join a church. No, I am not saying you need to go believe in a god. Most churches value the well-being of all people. They often have people that care and the resources to provide a supportive environment for you.
If you feel that all my suggestions so far won’t help you and there is nobody close to you who cares, come find me because I do care. I would fail out of my program if it meant was ensuring you got the help you needed.
Leave a Reply