US Debt (or things that make you feel better about your student loans)
First off, my sincerest apologies for a lack of big things in the last issue. I’m not sure what happened – I’ve never even been to Mexico.
Let’s talk big then. Very big. This is the size of the US National Debt in 100 dollar bills.
Sadly, the picture is not exaggerated. Turns out that 14.94 trillion dollars is a shitload of money. In fact that’s over $132,000 of debt per tax paying citizen in the US. Or more realistically, the government needs a 497km long traffic jam of Aston Martin V8 Vantages.
Not only does the US owe money, it’s losing money faster than Charlie Sheen. Picture the following scenario:
-You earn $58,000 per year
-You spend $75,000 per year
-You already have $327,000 of credit card debt
-You’ve made massive budget cuts to reduce spending to $72,000 for next year
Now multiply these numbers by a few billion and you get an idea of what the US is trying to deal with. I’m not really sure how the US lost so much money but I have a few theories.
- All military vehicles powered by internal cash combustion engines
- Gold spinners for each of Air Force One’s 18 wheels
- Missiles made out of diamonds to remind enemies of the US how poor they are
- Keeping the Martians at bay is expensive
Here’s the thing I don’t get it. If the US is the wealthiest country on the planet, who is affording to keep the country going? How can a country that is in debt give money to another country that is in debt? Does anyone have any real money? Where is it?
Sure beats me. I guess I’ll go back to calculus.
Big things rock! (though not so much in this case)
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