You bust your ass all day erryday such that that you may one day graduate with a piece of paper emblazoned with than glorious moniker “University of Waterloo.” And that’s all you need to make the entire ordeal worthwhile. In fact, you’re so content with that, and that alone that you feel the need to share your contentment with your friends studying at other “universities.” Problem is you don’t want to sound like a dick (even though you totally aren’t being one, just expressing your love for this wonderful institution). Luckily for you, below is our guide to slyly mention Waterloo’s more braggable aspects:
Co-op: Travel the world and the seven seas, everybody’s looking for employment. Next time someone brings up the current state of the job market try out one of these: “Oh yeah, the market’s just terrible, if it wasn’t for my university, the University of Waterloo, which has a world-renowned co-op program – which attracts the likes of Microsoft, Apple, Google, and Facebook – I’d be totally screwed!”
Maclean’s Magazine: Every year, thousands of Canadian high school seniors pick up a copy of acclaimed Maclean’s magazine – but not just any issue – the infamous annual university rankings issue. So the next time you see a fair citizen reading this staple of Canadian journalism, sneakily ask, “Hey you, did you manage to read this year’s university rankings? If I’m not mistaken, the University of Waterloo, the university which I currently attend, swept the rankings across the board. And now that I mention it, they did last year too. And the year before that! Or maybe I’m thinking of another university … probably not though, I’m pretty sure it’s the University of Waterloo.”
Notable Names: Everyone at Waterloo knows a long list of notable people attached to our school, but not enough outsiders are aware of this essential knowledge. For instance, if someone pulls out a BlackBerry you can ask, “Did you know that Mike Lazardis, co-founder of Research in Motion, is from the University of Waterloo? In fact, a lot of my friends at the University of Waterloo are currently working there as a part of our renowned co-op program!” Or, for the more ambitious, if someone mentions a product from the pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson you can subtly work in, “Oh, I thought you said Governor General David Johnston, former president of the University of Waterloo, my university, and current most politically powerful individual residing in Canada under our constitutional monarchy! Silly me!”
Math Faculty: Now this one is for you software engineers out there! If you’re on a hot date and the conversation turns to mathematics (as they often do), you can seamlessly bring up “Boy oh boy, talk about math! Not only is the University of Waterloo (I may have mentioned already that I attend it) renowned for its stellar engineering program, but also for its Faculty of Mathematics which is internationally recognizable! In fact, a University of Waterloo graduate is currently the youngest ever professor at MIT! Who knows, maybe one day they’ll be the American (near) equivalent to the University of Waterloo!”
Facilities: Let’s say one day you’re walking in downtown Toronto during construction time (i.e. not winter) and you’re passing a site with some friends. You can easily-as-pi drop in “I sure do hate construction! There’s always so much going on at my school, the University of Waterloo, due to its rapid expansion in response to increasing interest in its excellence! I mean, gosh-darn-it, the Quantum-Nano Center alone has been under construction for years! I suppose it’s reasonable given that the facility will house one of the top quantum research centres in the world, the IQC, and conduct groundbreaking nanotechnology research. But what an inconvenience for us students at the University of Waterloo, eh?”
Football: As a Waterloo Man or Woman, you’re a well-rounded malchick or ptitsa! And as such, we’re sure you love to throw around the old pigskin. So the next time you’re talking about or playing football slide in a “Hey, did you guys know that my school, the University of Waterloo, is often referred to as the Silicon Valley of the North?! Crazy, eh? I mean I guess they have a point with the University of Waterloo being known as a leader in innovation and excellence and all! Fun fact!”
And there you have it, by following our instructions you will enlighten your friends to the greatness that is the University of Waterloo while not tarnishing your reputation of humility. No need to thank us, it is our pleasure as two undergraduates of the University of Waterloo to help our fellow future rulers of the world.
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