Good afternoon Sexy Readers,
It’s under non-ideal conditions that I write to you this last imparting of wisdom, but perhaps nothing is ever ideal and that is the lesson of life. Just when you think it’s going swell you pick up a few knocks and stumble one more time. It’s been a long time coming this final thought of mine, and though over the years you’ve been exposed to a lot of lumberjackish wisdom, but most of it has been nonsense (on purpose). So to wrap up my time at the IW, I wanted to say thanks to everyone. Thanks to you, thanks to the idea people, and thanks to editors and other writers who hassle me to get my articles in and anyone else I forgot.
Last term I wrote a piece to A-soc explaining that someone needs to fill this space. My larger-than-life friend Will Zochodne is doing admirably so far, but there is plenty of room at the bottom so don`t use that as an excuse not to write 500 words of nonsense every two weeks. It`s pretty easy so get crackin’.
You’re probably expecting some distilled wisdom of my time at Waterloo, and I wish I could supply some, but for the most part, those little tidbits don’t do much for people. I find that no matter how many times you reiterate a phrase, people just need to learn things by experience and it only sticks after a few rounds. And so, if I had to try to offer anything, something that you would take away from all my back page shenannigans, it’s that good things don’t come to those who wait. Good things come to those who tell the waiting game to shove it and go get satisfaction. I’m going to get mine, will you get yours? Nothing is ever impossible.
To close, I know you hear this all the time (and it’s probably not going to stick) but don’t forget where you came from. Life on the bottom is hard, and you shouldn’t ever forget it, even when you’re a trillionare and living on Mars. Go forth into the world my sexy readership, take what is rightfully yours and render unto others that which is their due. Be responsible, be honorable, and keep your promises, even if they cost you more than you bargained for. It’s all your state of mind.
Until we meet again,
Stay Sexy
For now and always,
Stay Sexy