It is complete and utter mayhem at The Iron Warrior office with the onset of the full-scale Nano Invasion taking place.
“NO MORE NANOS!” cried a crazy assistant editor, who shall remain nameless.
“Things that are Nano tend to cluster,” states Kevin Joseph, a 2A Nanotechnology Engineering Student. “It’s a fact. We do it better in groups.”
“We’re the only ones that do backside attacks in first year,” adds Ammar Masud.
Over the current semester, the steady increase in Nano writers and staff at the IW office has other IW staff wondering if The Iron Warrior has been turned into The Nano Warrior. In fact, many Nanotechnology Engineering students are lobbying to change the name.
“Iron is so, like, last revolution,” says Farzana Yusufali, a big supporter of the installment of The Nano Warrior.
The Nano Invasion took place after the 2A Nanotechnology Engineering class claimed that they initiated the Nano Invasion as a cry to stop the discrimination against Nanotechnology Engineering. “We’re tired of being picked on because of our small-scale technology, our 8S stream, and our lack of a department [referring to the fact that Nanotechnology is an institute, not a department],” said an anonymous Nano. “Just because we’re the class with the biggest number of keeners doesn’t mean we can’t bring it.”
A recent heated debate about The Nano Warrior lead to spiked emotions—including having one male staff member using anatomical evidence to prove that size matters—and an office-wide release of the Nanobot, “Hunger.” Hunger, a self-replicating nano robot, chews up anything in sight, and it seems to have a penchant for Chemical and Electrical Engineering students.
“It’s not fair—it’s Hunger!” claimed one pissed off non-Nano staff member who claimed that Hunger was ‘chewing up all her articles.’
Alison Lee is in glee. “Our bucky balls may seem small, but they’re harder than the rest!” she proclaims loudly.
“The Nano invansion doesn’t bother me that much,” said Kevin Liang, a layout editor part of B-soc. However, his statement was met with an outcry from the rest of the non-Nano staff, claiming that B-soc is going to get Nano-ified soon.
“They’re coming!” exclaimed the crazy assistant editor.
Meanwhile, the other bi-polar assistant editor is starting a not-so-subtle effort to ‘take back’ The Iron Warrior by forming a “Staff Against Nanotechnology Students” Coalition.
Editor-in-Chief Rob Lee denies any involvement in the Nano-invasion. “I totally don’t favour my department, despite having single-handedly coerced half of my class to come to meetings,” says Rob Lee. Currently, Nanotechnology staff are involved in layout, copy-editing, and hogging every page in The Iron Warrior. Note: The “crazy assistant editor” wishes to point out that Nanos don’t do all that much copy editing, thank you very much.
Krishna Iyer, self-proclaimed BANANO, is looking forward to taking next steps in The Iron Warrior to continue the Nano invasion. “We’re having tough times settling negotiations with this name-change business,” says Iyer. “As soon as the Quantum Nano Center is done, we might be starting our own Nano Warrior… complete with our own Carbon Soldier!”
Plans are already underway to have a full-scale invasion in Engineering Society as well.
“It’s just magical,” says Roy Lee. “After all, when you’re in Nanotechnology, NE thing is possible.”
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