The Fifth Down

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

The Fifth Down:

Hey football lovers, welcome to the first edition of “The Fifth Down.” Every other week, I will cover topical issues in the NFL and provide fantasy advice for the competitive football-crazed-engineers out there. My column will be split into 3 sections:

1)    2 Minute Warning

2)    Game Winning Field Goal

3)    Post Game Press Conference

“2 Minute Warning” is a discussion/blog style section that covers a select event/controversy that occurred in the NFL during the past two weeks.

“Game Winning Field Goal” is where all the fun stuff happens! This section is all about fantasy football; if you want to win this season, you better read this. The final 3 points always win games, therefore the theme of this section is the number 3. This section features 3 MUST-START players, 3 free agent pickups (hopefully “free” in your league) and 3 MUST-BENCH players for the upcoming week. Guaranteed to get your mojo going. 😉

“Post Game Press Conference” will feature lockdown winners for 3 upcoming games.

With the introduction taken care of, let’s play some football!

“2 Minute Warning”

Topic: Cowboys vs Vikings: Who sucks more?

“The first Super Bowl in which the home team (Dallas) is a participant” Are you kidding me? (à la Jim Mora) The Cowboys, or should I say the Cowgirls (nothing against the lovely ladies out there) have been embarrassing themselves on the Gridiron for most of September. The saddest part is nobody knows what exactly is wrong with this team. They’re ranked 2nd in passing with 325.5 yards/game, 4th in total offense with 395 yds/game, 2nd in receiving yards and yet they still haven’t managed to win a single game! With their bye week coming up (in week 4), Cupcake Philips better figure something out in a hurry before Jerry Jones embarks on another head hunting trip. Here’s an idea: Start Felix Jones over Marion Barber and Dez Bryant over Roy Williams. Barber’s slowing down (definitely not the 2008 version) and he isn’t running in “Beast Mode” very often; time to try some speed with F.Jones. Their most recent game showed their versatility on offense. This is a team that has immense talent; the challenge is to use it. This ultimately falls on the coach. With a 1-2 record going into the bye week, it’s time for Dallas to show up.

The Minnesota Vikings sure aren’t “invading” any teams this season. With such high hopes going in, especially with Favre’s Unretirement 2010, the Vikings have been nothing short of a disappointment (just like Lost’s finale). They have been atrocious on both ends of the field. Ranked 19th in total offense, a nasty 24th in passing yards (185 yards/game) and even with Adrian Peterson, arguably the best rusher in the game, the Vikings can’t crack the top 10 in rushing yards (11th in the league). Luckily, it’s easy to pinpoint why they’re “sucking”: they have no dependable receivers. With Sidney Rice, their top receiver from last season, recovering from hip surgery and out until at least Week 6; Percy Harvin, their #2 receiver having a forgettable start to the 2010-2011 season and every other receiver on the squad playing like they were on the 2008 Detroit Lion’s team, it’s safe to say the Vikings have to sign a receiver, and fast. With news of their recent addition of WR Hank Baskett and their failed attempt in trading for WR Vincent Jackson, it’s time to start doing the rain dance for some Fast Healing Miracles!

In conclusion, they both suck. As to who sucks just a bit more than the other, I’d say it’s the Vikings. Although they beat Detroit in Week 3, Brett Favre’s performance was sub par. They definitely need to fill the void at the WR position. Dallas reassured its fans by finally winning a game in Week 3 but the most important thing is consistency; history suggests it’s going to be a tough road ahead. Maybe QB Tony Romo should try switching girlfriends again…. at least they had a winning record in the Jessica Simpson days.

Game Winning Field Goal:

(Since the Iron Warrior is a bi-weekly print, tips will be provided for the upcoming week only.)

Top 3 Additions:

1) Brandon Lloyd (WR, Denver) 29% owned in Yahoo! Leagues: In 3 games, he’s averaging 113 yards/game. In Week 3, he caught 6 balls for 169 yards and a TD. Get him while he still lasts.

2) Dustin Keller (TE, NY Jets) 65% owned in Yahoo! Leagues: 2 TDs in the 1st quarter against the Dolphins in Week 3. Sanchez found his man-friend.

3) Peyton Hillis (RB, Cleveland) 44% owned in Yahoo! Leagues: With Jerome Harrison injured, Hillis is taking advantage of the spotlight. 144 yards rushing + 36 yards receiving + 1TD = Add.

Top 3 Starts:

1) Carolina RB DeAngelo Williams against New Orlean’s Saints’ 30st ranked run defense.

2) Philadelphia WRs DeSean Jackson/Jeremy Maclin against the Redskin’s 31st ranked pass defense.

3) Green Bay WRs Greg Jennings/Donald Driver against the 28th ranked pass defense: Detroit Lions.

Top 3 players to bench:

1) Any Pittsburgh QB: The Steelers’ got lucky with their backup QB in Week 3, but it won’t work against Baltimore’s 2nd ranked pass defence.

2) Baltimore RB Ray Rice: Difficult fantasy year for Ray Rice and it won’t get any better against the Steelers’ 5th ranked run defence in Week 4.

3) Any Detroit QB or WR : Unless Matthew Stafford comes back, the Lions’ passing game will definitely not get any better against Green Bay’s top ranked pass defence.

Post Game Press Conference:

The 3 Lockdown Picks:

Green Bay Packers over Detroit Lions: The Pack is Back.

St.Louis Rams over Seattle Seahawks: Sam Bradford is a sign of hope for the Rams.

NY Jets over Buffalo Bills: The Bills are aiming for next season already… The tanking begins for the #1 draft selection.

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