Author`s Note: This is the second part in a series of three humourous articles on how to `succeed` in workplace. It does not represent actual engineering conduct and should not be taken seriously.
Part 2: Pretending to Take an Interest
Everyone, at one point or another, has had a boss who will just talk your ear off about their hobbies or interests no matter how uninterested you may actually be. Some examples of things that people talk about are as follows; fishing, their cottage, children, exercising, sports teams, fantasy sports teams, children, cars, golf, vacations and children. I never have, and likely never will care about little Jimmy’s karate competition, and I don’t want to hear about how you were able to make a 3 way trade that ended up with you getting, Crosby, Ovechkin, both Sedins and Toews. If I do start caring, well then, I must be sucking up, which brings me into Part 2 of “How to Succeed in the Workplace”.
If you are able to figure out what your boss does in his spare time, don’t brush it off lightly, rather embrace it and learn about it. By pretending to be interested in something that your boss is also interested in, then you be able to connect with them on a more personable level, regardless of the fact that your boss may be a heartless, soulless, work-you-to-the-bone type of person. It also provides you with a way to quickly change topics onto something your boss will go on for hours about if allowed. You can then talk about a hobby, rather than about all the work you neglected to do last week. See situation below.
It was a rainy Thursday afternoon at General Consultants and Mr. Johnson was not happy. He had recently found out that they were not awarded the 100 million dollar contract they were trying to secure.
Meanwhile, in a mid-level management office, Markham was harvesting some tomatoes and wheat in Farmville when he heard a knock at the door. “Come In”, Markham invited. It was Mr. Johnson and Markham could tell from the look in his eyes, that he was not here for a friendly hello.
“I’m not happy Markham, we didn’t get the big contract and were really strapped now! What happened with that proposal!?”
Markham responded perplexed, “We didn’t get it? That’s terrible, I knew I should have helped Hansen out more, but I got caught up closing the Peterson account.”
“Right, right, I forgot about that” Mr. Johnson responded somewhat embarrassed. “Well still I expected more so this weekend I’m going to need you to”, “Speaking of this weekend” Markham interrupted, “Did I tell you about the new rod I got for Pike fishing? It’s titanium cast and has a nickel copper alloy for the spinner. I’m just not sure what type of lure I should be using? I want to catch Pike, but also have appeal for other fish as well. Any recommendations?”
After about thirty minutes of Mr. Johnson explaining the various pros and cons of various lures, he finally made a recommendation for some type that had a sinking feather head, but Markham could care less. He stopped paying attention 29 minutes 45 seconds ago, but made sure to pretend to write down various things that sounded important. It was when Mr. Johnson stopped talking that Markham replied with, “Thanks, that sounds great, I’ll be sure to bring you back some of what I catch”.
“No problem, I’m glad I could help, have fun this weekend!” and with that Mr. Johnson left the office leaving Markham to return to his virtual crops.
Let’s Discuss
Why does this work? Well, when you were undoubtedly about to be asked to work this weekend, you changed the subject to get your boss’s mind off work and onto something he cares about. You’re not even going fishing, you’re probably just going to nap on the couch and watch television. But that’s beside the point, you were able to divert attention, which resulted in you not having to work this weekend. Just keep in mind, you will very likely be asked about it on Monday so a) have a story ready about how you didn’t catch anything (you did offer him some fish), b) go to a fish market and pretend you caught something, and c) if you are asked about pictures you have two options c1) didn’t bring a camera (which isn’t as fun of a story) or c2) you brought one, but while reeling in a real fighter the camera was knocked out of the boat and into the depths of the lake (a bit more razzle dazzle for your tale).
Come back next issue for the conclusion of the series.
Leave a Reply