VP Finance Report

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

Good day weary travellers,

Welcome to the place where all dreams go to relieve themselves. In this land, it is known that the sun rises in the south and sets right behind the KFC on Main St. There are only two rules in this land:

1. Never interrupt a dream mid-stream

2. Never interrupt a dream mid-this-rule’s-number

If you abide by these rules, you can sustain your existence. One may see any number of great and mysterious wonders here.

Hark! To our left we see a leprechaun riding a unicorn, under a rainbow, over a bridge, to a field where the grass is greener. In my last excursion here, I had followed them, against my better judgement. I slowly approached the unicorn-riding leprechaun. As I approached, I stepped in something that the unicorn had left in its path. Jelly beans. But my shock got the better of me, and I yelped in disgust. But alas, I had broken the second rule of the land.

Almost immediately, I was lifted up by an unknown force and placed on a makeshift raft and hurtled down a river. As I was moving down the milky-white waters of the river, on my raft I looked around and noticed there were only but a few more people. And I thought to myself, “Had there been more people here, more fun would have been had. But, that is their loss”

After this moist journey, I landed on a shore, and found a large crate at my feet. I took off the lid, and found a small ornate chest. I opened this and found a turquoise orb. As soon as I touched it, there was a flash, and it started emitting smoke light, projecting a message in the air:

Remember the words of your predecessor:

P.S. Finances are good

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