Helloooo Sexy Readers!
Long time no see, Welcome Back! I missed you all, I hope you missed me just as much. It’s been a long road for the Chad these past few terms. Busy as a bumble-chad (kind of like a bumblebee, but with more chad). Luckily, I’ve had time recently to stop and smell the roses when they can be detected above the overwhelming odor of springtime Waterloo.
The power of smell is a wondrous thing. The musky allure of a mighty man, the sumptuous scent of a sensuous lady, the gentle wafting of a cinnamon twist on the carnival air, and the rugged nasal assault of diesel fuel can all create a range of emotions and feelings in a person. Even though there are some smells that make you want to reap a cornfield in anger, many more create and evoke fantastical smellmories. Without further adieu, I give you:
Chad Sexington’s Top 5 Scintiallting Scent Sensations:
Ladies, if you want to catch a catch, try adding one of these smells to your perfume collections (kidding of course).
A real man likes real man-smells, and there isn’t a lot more manly in this world than hefty trees hewn down to size. A good chuck of cedar, aged oak, or a mighty maple, freshly sawn and still warm to the touch is better than flapjacks on a frosty February Friday. Often times you can find me wandering the lumber yards taking in the smells of “nature” just to remember my old life as a lumberjack.
Any kind will do, but pumpkin is best. There’s something mystical about happening upon a window sill with a fresh baked pie on it. I just can’t help but think this is what angels smell like. (This sentence is a scratch and sniff).
Do I need to explain more? You can wrap it, you can dice it, you can slice it, you can bake it, just don’t take it from me. If you’re making this in the vicinity of a human being who eats meat, you better be ready to share. BLT means Bacon Loves Tummies, mine especially. Who hasn’t woken up to this breakfast smell and heard their stomach rumble?
If you hang around in the outdoors as much as a lumberjack, you start to notice an odd change in the wind right before it rains. There’s a smell you might describe as “impending wetness”. That’s the one that gets you every time. Smell that, and you’ll be reaching for your umbrella. If only they could put that one into air fresheners, I’d be a loyal customer.
No, I’m not a pyromaniac, but the smell of fire and woodsmoke brings memories of camping to the fore. Marshmallows, ghost stories, the way that dead pine branches snap, crackle and pop in the heat; it’s a regular bonanza of burning boughs. This is one smell that lingers, especially if you’re the person that the campfire seems to love sending all it’s smoke to. You know it’s you. Don’t pretend like it isn’t.
So, if you’re in the mood for a smell sensation, try one of the above. I promise, you’ll be smell-satisfied or your money back*.
Until next time,
*Not a guarantee