Daylight Savings Cause Disasters Worldwide

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

Every year lives are lost due to the transition from Daylight Saving time but this year the preliminary reports seem to show that the losses was particularly high as essential infrastructure all over the world collapsed (the only surviving structures seem to be those engineered by Waterloo graduates). Witnesses in Iran report a massive wipe-out of the internet and reports show that most of northern Canada was without running water or electricity causing outrage among the native caribou. One person even had trouble getting cell-phone signal.

Airports and planes were in chaos everywhere as pilots attempted to match their schedules. Several passenger planes originally headed for Heathrow International Airport in London had to turn around after spending two hours in circling the airport, waiting for permission to land, and were forced to land in Hawai. Luckily most of the passengers seemed not to mind.

Here in Waterloo even the geese were having trouble making sense of the missing hour. Witnesses report surprisingly mild behaviour and lack of honking in the early hours of Sunday but a correspondent also told us that they later began dive-bombing students. In the lecture halls on Monday, bleary-eyed students collapsed from caffeine-deprivation since the Tim Hortons on campus failed to open on time and many lectures were cancelled due to the absence of instructors and professors who simply did not get enough sleep. In a great humanitarian wave students were mobilised to provide food and shelter to high school students and their parents on Tuesday (also allowing the university to showcase its geese, lazers and PdEng program).

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