Humour

Provinces of Canada

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

The MPP of Owen Sound brought up an urgent concern.  Toronto’s needs overshadow those of the rest of Ontario.  Rural Ontario is suffering dramatic hardships because of Toronto’s existence.

In an entirely unexpected turn of events, he actually had a solution.  Toronto must become its own province. Let Toronto take care of itself, and the province of Ontario can devote its time and resources to caring for the rural populations in the rest of the province.  This revolutionary solution amazed the province, and indeed the rest of the country, with its genius.  Soon after rural Ontario shook off the oppression of Toronto with the creation of the new province, other parts of the country followed suit.  Rural populations across the country protested and insisted the removal of their cities.  Our measly ten provinces have now been joined by dozens, if not hundreds, more.  Some notable new provinces include Calgary, Montreal, Halifax and Elmira.

The details of creation of some provinces were more difficult than others.  Kitchener and Waterloo were created as separate provinces, however they are now considering merging.  However, as they were unable to agree to amalgamation when they were mere cities, this seems unlikely. Another problematic city was the former city of Ottawa.  When the townships around it were amalgamated into Ottawa ten years ago, a sizeable rural population was included inside the official city limits.  Clearly, simply creating the province of Ottawa would not save this rural population from their urban oppressors.  After much debate, there were two provinces created, freeing the rural part of Ottawa to govern itself once more.

This is an ongoing process, so watch out for more provinces to appear in the future.  To any rural residents out there, if a city in your province is oppressing your needs, make sure you contact your MPP to have that city added to the list of cities about to become provinces.

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