We turn UW into a hunting range and then charge hunters lots of money to come in and shoot all our geese and squirrels. An additional charge can be added for student disguises so that the hunters can blend in with the crowd and sneak up on their prey. Hunters may even purchase fake Watcards (for only 90% of the actual cost) so that if the geese ask for ID the hunters will be prepared. We make tons of money and get rid of our goose and squirrel problem at the same time! Now that’s optimization!
So we need more money. Well let’s turn towards the resource most commonly available on campus: students!!! Well yes, look around you, what do you see? Students, students and more students! You might wonder how students can be turned into a viable income but instead of looking at them as people start focusing on their biological make-up… Not sure where this is going? Focus on what students produce, there’s lots of stuff to be harvested; blood, organs, even semen! So now that you know what to do there really should no longer be a budget deficit.
Reduce the amount of money in the budget that is being dumped into administration when they have no clear goals or reasons as to why they are receiving so much more money for the same administration we’ve had this whole time. Oh… you wanted a funny answer? Um, Nude Rodeo Fundraiser?