The Adventures of Dangerman

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

Always Look on the Brighter Side of Life

Dearest Reader,

To begin with…I have seen the future!  Some of it was pretty cool…other parts were kind of meh1.

Unfortunately, I can’t really discuss specifics with you for fear of potentially creating a self-fulfilling prophecy2 that would deny the concept of free will and consequently absolve you all of any responsibility for your decisions.

Example: Skipping Lectures in a Deterministic Universe

Waterloser A: “Shouldn’t you be in class right now?”

Waterloser B: “If I had been meant to go…I would be there right now. The universe has a plan for me and class is apparently not part of it.”

Waterloser A: “Neither is passing apparently…”

It’s a melancholy truth that the futures we plan for ourselves are often so very different from the ones that we ultimately find.  After all, why do we study so hard to become engineers?  Is fulfilling the desire to be at the frontier of human understanding worth the diminished opportunities for having sex? Argue me that one Darwin3

Whether by choice or divine providence there’s something to be said for embracing the hand you’re dealt.  After all, it might seem odd that a Dangerman should choose to study chemical engineering, but really how many fields of science bring together lubricants, stage-strippers, and explosions4? My point is that whether you fall into your destiny or pursue it with a singular conviction, sometimes it’s necessary to accept one’s circumstances in order to see the opportunities around you.  Otherwise, we can be blinded by the mundane.

The simple task of survival during the pursuit of an engineering degree can often be so overwhelming a distraction we miss the chances to really do something cool, like join Engineers-Without-Borders, or build a robot, or maybe setup a moonshine still in one of the unused labs in DWE.  So, while passing is essential, try to remember not to let school get in the way of your education, ya dig?

Dangerman’s Top 5 Resolutions for Getting the Most from UW

  1. Stop whining, period.  Maybe the prof sucks, maybe the assignments are impossible, maybe the textbook is shyte.  This is the information age, take responsibility for your own education.
  2. Co-op is more like having a real job than you would believe… if you don’t like having a boss that’s an idiot, you better move into Velocity and become an entrepreneur, because it’s a universal experience.  You wouldn’t believe how quickly your job can become “that guy who’s pretty good with Excel”.  Why not do something that matters?
  3. Find a pursuit outside of the typical engineering curriculum that is related to something you’re actually interested in.  You wouldn’t believe how much easier it is to face Calculus on Tuesday morning after fitting a turbocharger to a golf-cart on Monday night. Zoom zoom.
  4. If I was stuck in Groundhog Day, I could still eat Campus Pizza every day for eternity.  Delicious, but not really much of an experience.  Don’t let your life become a consistent diet of plaza-food; getting stuck in routine is the worst.  Break the cycle and do something different this weekend.
  5. Write for The Iron Warrior.  It might be the most rewarding pastime you’ll ever come across.

In closing, remember the philosophy of St. Augustine.  The passage of time is an illusion.  There is no past or future, there is simply the memory of what has passed and the anticipation of what is to come.  Make the most of your present.

All the best,


1. The best part of time travel is getting to refer to the future in the past tense.
2. I will say however that I do become the eternal supreme emperor of all the known universes………….Ladies
3. At least creationists get to “be fruitful and multiply” Genesis 1:28
4. To say nothing of the polymers of prophylactics

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