TOPZ (With a Z): Top Colo(u)rs of Awesomeness

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

With the dread of midterms finally ending, the dread of getting back marks… wait, we already did this one last week. It is obvious what this week’s topic should be then: A physicist will tell you colour is the representation of the visible spectrum of wavelengths between 400 and 750nm. A biologist will tell you colour is a perception of sensory information from the cones in our eyes interacting with photons. An American will tell you “they have no idea, do you mean ‘color?’” Also something about gun rights, football, and bald eagles. This week, we at Topz (With a Zed, that means “Zee,” to you ‘Murkans) are taking a look at the best colours which will have you changing your wardrobe faster than you can see “Synesthesia!”


How eyes glimmer at just the sight, having us lusting for more with every glance. When we are home alone, we don’t wear pants.


Even without cleaning the wax from your eyes, this colour will have you stop and fantasize. Under the right weather conditions, we like eating pies.


Planting a seed in your cornea that flourishes into your mind, relaxing your body like a gentle breeze is what you’ll find. Also, likely causing brain tumours, did you think it would be more kind?


Under your skin and slowly sliding across your body, causing many goosebumps in a lifetime. I fear choking with no reception of aid, when I dress as a mime.


Sitting at the edge of your seat at this point, you may pause out of confusion. This is likely a result of your eyes being too ignant to comprehend the complexity of such a colour, something that rhymes with “confusion.”


Through the process of elimination, intelligence such as yours has probably figured out what colour is numero uno (that is “number one” for our ‘Murkan readers). Many don’t realize that door hinge rhymes with orange.


The beauty of colour is one we cannot represent well (if you disregard CIELAB colour space specified by the International Commission on Illumination and focus on the CIE 1936 standard instead). Even without a good representation, colour has a great deal of influence, inspiring many poets throughout time. Roses are red, violets are blue, drinking too much coffee, makes us want to poo.

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