I’m sure, if you are male, you have always been slightly curious about why girls go to the bathroom in groups and why it takes us so long to “powder our noses.” Well, that is all due to the complicated rules of the bathroom which most females follow. This article will go through some of the rules that must be followed once a woman has entered the washroom.
- The Entry. When you enter, be sure to make a good amount of noise to forewarn those already inside. Whistle, hum – do whatever it takes to make warning noises.
- If you see someone you know, greet them and make small talk. If you see anyone you don’t know just smile politely and walk by.
- Choosing a Seat. Look at the stalls to see if there is anyone inside them. If not, pick one which allows a buffer stall between it and the adjacent stalls. This will allow privacy for anyone who comes in. If there are other people in the stalls, try to pick a stall which has the one stall buffer zone around it. If you cannot pick one which satisfies this, then it’s time to bite the bullet and take one next to someone else.
- The Approach. If others are in the stalls, take time to sit down and hope that they finish before you begin “The Act.”
- The Act. This is the most difficult step. In this step, you need to remember the most important bathroom rule – try to keep Your Act as quiet as possible. If people hear it they will know that you that you have bodily functions and that simply is not ladylike! If possible, wait to begin your Act until all others have exited the bathroom. If that’s not possible, perform it quickly during times when a toilet is running, the sink is running, or the hand dryer is on. If none of these options work, then it’s time for you to very noisily grab toilet paper to drown out your horrifically disgusting and inhuman noises.
- The Ending. Once you are finished The Act, flush the toilet and observe the seat. Did you spill? If you did, clean it up; leaving a toilet seat dirty is gross and no one wants to sit on that! Leave your stall, wash and dry your hands and then leave the washroom as fast as possible – you do not want someone coming into your stall knowing that anything that’s happened to it previously is your fault!
- Be Considerate. If someone else is in The Act, be sure to make lots of noise so that they won’t think you are listening.
- It’s Dangerous to Go Alone. When possible, go to the bathroom with a close friend. There, you can talk to each other during that time so that the going-ons won’t be nearly as awkward. However, if it is a particularly gruesome Act, it is not cool to bring them with you into the bathroom.
So there you have it, a list of the basic female bathroom rules. Oh, to the males out there: now you know exactly why it takes us ladies so long in said domain; we are just trying to adhere to social protocol as well as concealing our humanity when in there.