Making friends is hard, especially when you enter a new stage of your life. It can be intimidating talking to classmates and finding your community, but although friendships in university are very different from high school, I can guarantee you will find your stride eventually. Here are some tips and reminders to make friends and open yourself up to others:
1. Don’t always wait for others to make the first move
It feels safer to just wait for someone to approach you first, but that isn’t always the best strategy. If you’re feeling anxious or stressed, I’m sure most of your other classmates are too. You are away from home for the first time, attending classes, and trying to find your way around campus, so it’s a stressful time. Sometimes having the courage to approach others first, even just to ask their name, will make their day and alleviate their stress. Plus, you’ve got yourself a buddy to walk around campus with now!
2. Don’t retreat to your “safe” people all the time
You may know some people from high school or your home town who are also attending the University of Waterloo. While it may be tempting to just stick with them for the first couple months, it is very likely you will miss out on a lot of friendships. The first couple weeks of university are when people are most willing to talk to others and form new friendships, so put yourself out there! Most groups tend to form a couple months in, and while you can still make friendships any time, sometimes it’s harder once all the groups have formed.
3. Some friendships don’t last and that’s okay; there’s wisdom in the distance
From my own experience, I had a close friend that I met during orientation, and I stuck with her for quite a while, like we did EVERYTHING together. I found later on that I felt stuck in that friendship, and our personalities were starting to clash. I still appreciate her and enjoy her company from time to time, but we have both distanced ourselves and focused on different people in our lives. THAT’S OKAY!!! You may not find your people during orientation, or even during first year, and that is totally fine. Give yourself time. Also, because of the structure of engineering at UWaterloo, you will stick with your cohort the whole five years. This means that, unfortunately, most of the people you will meet during orientation, you will only see in passing later on.
4. It’s okay to be alone
To me, I have always associated being alone to being a loser. In the past, I would hang out with unkind people whose values I didn’t associate with, just to avoid being alone. Please don’t do that. You will exhaust yourself trying to fit in with people who will never understand you, and that’s not fair. It’s okay to be alone, and to spend time by yourself. Go eat lunch on your own, visit that library on your own, explore campus on your own. It may seem scary at first (even I still feel awkward being alone sometimes), but eventually it will get better and you will enjoy your own company so much that you won’t let yourself be around toxic people just to avoid being alone.
5. It will take time to form strong bonds
Movies and TV are deceiving. They depict these characters that form friendships on their first day of class and stick together to the end; real life is not like that. You have to put time and effort into the friendships around you, and it will ultimately need to be a matter of time before you have someone you can call your best friend.
6. Get close with the people in your cohort
These are the people you will be sticking with for all five years. You will have all your classes, labs, and exams together, so get close with them and by the end of your academic career here at UWaterloo, you will have formed life-long bonds.
7. Enjoy yourself!!
Being yourself and enjoying your experience will only attract more awesome friendships. You’ve made it this far, so be authentic, and enjoy all that UWaterloo has to offer! Have fun at orientation!
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