Hi Martha,
I have been having a hard time looking for a partner, and thought I would try out Aphrodite. Girls I’m interested in aren’t interested in me and so maybe the algorithm can find me a match. I matched with a girl and she’s very sweet and cute. We actually agreed to meet up and go on a date. The date went really well however I know she’s not the one for me. She was really nice so I don’t want to hurt her feelings. How do I let her down easy?
~ Binky Barnes
Dear Binky Barnes,
This sounds a bit like “it’s not you, it’s me,” but please don’t actually say that to her. The best thing you can do is just be honest – that you had a great time, but aren’t interested in pursuing things further. Try and let her know sooner rather than later, otherwise you’ll just be leading her on, and that’ll make her feel worse when you eventually tell her.
Best of luck,
Martha
Martha, I need HELP! I am a CS student and like the stereotype goes I’m not very good at talking to people. I matched with someone on Aphrodite and we are now talking on Instagram. I’m planning to ask them to meet up and maybe go on a date or at least hangout with them as friends. Any tips so I don’t crash out?
~ Motherboard
Hi Motherboard,
I’ve heard the CS stereotypes for years, but that doesn’t mean you can’t overcome them! I know it’s cliche, but the best advice I can give you is just be yourself and try to relax. Not only will you have more fun, but the other person will get to know you better from it. Choose something more casual for when you meet so it doesn’t feel like there’s a lot of pressure, maybe going for coffee or doing an activity that you both enjoy. It’s completely normal to be a little nervous about meeting up for the first time, so remember to breathe. You can do it!
Martha
Martha, I think my brain is broken. This guy I’ve had classes with since first year and I matched on Aphrodite. I’ve hated him ever since he spilt acid on me in one of my first year labs and he wasn’t even my lab partner! I’ve always found him super annoying and egotistical but since matching with him I can’t stop thinking about him and I together. Do you think I should give it a shot? What if he’s the exact jerk I thought he was and I become the butt of his jokes?
~ Dora Winifred Read
Hi Dora,
This sounds like you’re setting the scene for an enemies-to-lovers romance movie, but I understand why you would be apprehensive about pursuing this guy. That being said, the algorithm matched you with him for a reason – there must be something you have in common or other reasons you might be compatible, maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Has he reached out to you at all or indicated that he’s interested? If he has, you can test the waters for a little while and see if it’s worth a real shot. You’ll know pretty quickly if he’s the exact jerk you thought he was, and if you should break it off.
Sincerely,
Martha
Dear Martha,
Sooooooooo I matched with this guy, he’s seemingly perfect and has nearly everything in common with me, but we got to talking on Discord and he might as well be illiterate. Bro cannot hold a conversation for the life of him and when we are in a conversation he’s super dry and sounds uninterested. Like I said I like him, he’s cute and we appear to be very alike. What do I do Martha?
~ Word Girl
Dear Word Girl,
Unfortunately, a lot of guys can be dry over text. I say give him a chance for a little bit longer, maybe he’s just shy or nervous talking to a girl. If that’s the case, he’ll probably start to come out of his shell once the two of you get to know each other better. Try bringing up some of your common interests and see how he responds. Of course, if you’ve been talking for a long time now and he still seems uninterested, you can be upfront and just ask why he’s stringing you along, but if he likes you too, chances are things will improve with time.
Sincerely,
Martha
Have questions or need advice from Martha? Send you submissions to theironwarrior@gmail.com for a chance to get an answer from Martha in a future issue!
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