EngSoc

Fly With Passion – Fly with Grace

Ladies and gentleplanes. May we have your attention, please? Kindly direct your windscreens to the heavens above and give a warm welcome  to our special guest.The Prince of Propellers. When he’s speeding, he’s leading. Get my good side, fellas. When he’s grinning, he’s winning.  The one and only – Ripslinger! – (CROWD CHEERING) You’re caught in the riptide! (CHUCKLES) – Thanks for coming out. – (DOTTIE COUGHING) Who wants a picture? All right, one at a time.  Well, with all that self-promotion, at least he’s modest. Dottie, that’s Ripslinger. He’s captain of Team RPX. They call him… BOTH: The Green Tornado. Oh, he’s so good, he’s pre-qualified. Oh. And those two, Ned and Zed. BOTH: The Twin Turbos. They’re world-class racers. You know, I hear they used to be one plane and were separated at birth.  Wow. I wish I was separated at birth. Okay, people. This is the last of four time trials being held worldwide. Today’s qualifying round is one lap around the pylons. The top five finishers will qualify for the Wings Around the Globe Rally. Oh, yeah. Fonzarelli, you’re up, my man. (SPITS) Oh, man! That’s nasty. And he’s through the start gate! The racers must pass through the blue pylons on the horizontal and around the red pylons on the knife-edge. Now he’s coming back to Gate Three! Nicely done, my man. Setting himself up a little high through the blue pylons there, lining up for the quadro.  He’s taking a hard right with a 270-degree high-G turn! Yeah! Back all the way around. Whoo! – Cleanly through. Ha! Look at you, man! – That guy’s good. It doesn’t get much better than that. All right. Good speed. Lining up for the three-pylon chicane, amazing pitch control. Smooth! Fast! Clean! He’s going into the final turn, into the half-Cuban 8, pulling an aggressive 9.2 Gs. Attacking the climb! Wow. Now that’s some speed. Coming out of the Cuban 8 at the end of a fantastic first run, people. A 01.24. 16. A very good time for the other racers to try and beat. Fast, tight through the pylons. He’s got a great pace going, here. Hes just a half a second behind. – Oh! Engine failure! – CROWD: Oh! Out of the race. Bye-bye. Great performance. Watch the clock here. I can’t wait. Lining up for the Blue Gate. Oh, no, he did not! That’s a major penalty. – Sorry, dude. Eighth place. – (GROANS) Talk about fast. Coming out the Cuban 8. Fueled and ready, man. Okay, bud, you’re up. Good and tight. – All set. – It’s been a wonderful day here, and we’re down to our last competitor. This is it. From Propwash Junction, Strut Jetstream. “Strut Jetstream”? Yep. Awesomest call sign ever. (CHUCKLES) It was my idea. – Ah. That explains it. – Hey, ag-plane! Landscaping was yesterday, man. Get off the runway. We’re racing, here. – Second call for Strut Jetstream. – No, no, no! – Looking for… – Yo! I’m Strut Jetstream. – You are Strut Jetstream? – Yep. A crop duster? Man, what’s going on here? Is everybody getting to fly today? Man, your momma must have had high hopes for you. Now, you know you are built for seed, not speed. You have got to be kidding me. – That farmer’s going to race? – (LAUGHS) Go on Dus… Go on,, Strut., – (PLANES LAUGHING), – PLANE 1: Who’s that guy? – You’re going to try out? – PLANE 2: A crop duster? FORKLIFT: Cornfield is over that way. Nice of you to take the day off just to lose! (ALL LAUGHING) Go, Duster! It’s going to be a tall order for him to knock Fonzarelli out of fifth place. And he’s off! Well, he’s starting a little conservative. This ought to be rich. 193 miles per hour. He’s into Gate Two, clean through the horizontal. What? He’s practically mowing the lawn. Come to my house, man. Okay. At the first split, he’s a full second behind Fonzarelli. Yo, that’s a lot of time to make up, but this guy’s aggressive. Now he’s making that hard 270-degree high-G turn! Whoo! That’s it! Setting himself up. Left vertical turn. Lining up for the three-pylon chicane. He’s gaining speed. Now, he’s only half a second behind Fonzarelli. And he is closing rapidly. Now he’s back on that stick. Up he goes! Up and away! Now only two-tenths of a second behind Fonzarelli! – Come on, Duster! – Oh, it’s going to be close. He’s going to do it. He’s going to do it. Oh, yes! What a finish! Now, that’s what you call flying!

 

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