Disclaimer: This is a humorous article and is not intended to be taken even remotely seriously
Here we are, the autumn chill is creeping in and enticing us to leave the great outdoors and cozy up by our imaginary fireplaces with a textbook in hand. Isn’t it glorious?! So much of the time we might have once spent outdoors is now liberated for our use to study!
But beware! Although this season is fantastic for wearing sweatpants all day ‘ery day, it is important that you occasionally use them for their original purpose – sweating! Too much cozying up to your textbook may cause stretch marks. They might not be visible like the ones around your midsection after all those C&D cookies you keep saying you’ll stop eating. But trust me, they’re just as deadly! The longer you sit the less oxygen your brain will get and eventually this will lead to unavoidable cell death.
There is a solution! Beat stress and feed the brain beast by getting some A-C-T-I-V-itay (hey! I didn’t say I followed my own advice now did I?).
STEP 1: Venture outside. You can do it! Take those feet, put on some wool socks and fall time boots and leave your bedroom. Now maybe add a nice fluffy sweater, a scarf and some mittens. Maybe grab some nuts to feed squirrels as well. Chasing after squirrels to give them nuts is an excellent way to build cardio.
STEP 2: Find a leaf pile. This may involve traipsing through some woods to find leaves. Keep in mind, leaf piles do not exist in fields and leaf piles in woods likely have many sticks. Ensure the sticks are removed prior to step 3. Remember, you can do it! (Pro tip, if you can’t find a pre-made leaf pile grab a rake and make one yourself!
STEP 3: Jump in leaf pile! Roll around a bit. You cover yourself in those leaves! Now everyone will now just how much outdoor A-C-T-I-V-I-T-Y you got! (Look at my laziness evaporating from all that exercise!)
STEP 4: Now relax, your brain oxygen is almost replenished, you can take it easy now!
Congratulations, you have enjoyed the Autumn AND exercised! I am very proud. This may be super silly but exercise is important! Make sure to take some study breaks every once in a while to enjoy some fresh air! I recommend games of Frisbee and scenic detours when walking to class. Happy exams everyone!
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