Date an engineer who travels. With graduation upon us (and let’s face it, after we graduate who really cares about what happens at Waterloo?) thoughts inevitably lead to what we will do with our lives after we graduate. And no, we aren’t talking about making serious and important decisions about work or graduate school. We’re talking about dicking around Eurasia for a month or two and delaying making adult decisions. But it’s soooo important that you do, because it’s while eating, praying and loving, while you’re romanticizing and blowing through that young money cash money that you really are becoming an adult (and not just because you spend all your YMCM). And so this week we are devoting our column to making the case to date an engineer who travels (and therefore be an engineer who travels because, honestly, you need all the help you can get).
Become a Better Person
Date an engineer who travels, because she has become a better person: a better person than she once was, and a better person than you are. And the reason that she is a better person is because she has learned all about the cultures of poor people in shitty counties who cannot afford to be better people by taking such indulgent vacations in their early twenties. Of course, she still has soooo much respect and admiration for these people. Based on how enthusiastically she steals the spotlight at every cocktail party with the story about the time she was slumming it in India and had to sleep under a tin roof, one can only imagine how glamorous it would be to live like that every day! Impoverished nations are just so kitschy, and you can get a trendy sarong for next to nothing because of a currency less valuable than dogecoin.
Discover Yourself
Date an engineer who travels: he knows who he is and his role in this world. Maybe before he went to Thailand he didn’t know who he was, or maybe he did. He can’t really remember. After a cocktail of drugs, anti-malaria medicine, and a bunch of sketchy brothels he forgot who he was. But then he discovered himself during detox. If he never travelled, the last time he would have made that discovery would have been as a newborn baby. And to quote Jaden Smith, “if newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth.” An engineer who travels is soooo deep.
Get Lost as Sea
Date an engineer who travels. She knows that there is more to planet Earth than what you find in travel guides and on post cards (which she still sends, because she’s off the grid and not confined to the tyrannical efficiency of the digital age). 71 per cent of the Earth’s surface is covered by water, a real engineer who travels strives to be soooo self-fulfilled and so she grabs a chubby friend (big enough to sit in the shower, but not so big as to sink a boat) and sets sail. Of course a true traveler shuns those who are limited to “navigation” and “responsible planning” and so she gets lost at sea. While lost she has plenty of time to learn things about the meaning of life, about her place in the universe, the beauty of the night sky, the beauty of figuring out how to navigate by the stars, how to fish, how to let the blood out of sea turtles, how to catch a seagull with her bare hands, how to draw a face on a volleyball, and how turn her cannibalism into a deceptively shallow allegory for God.
Escape From Your Troubles
Date an engineer who travels because making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot. Wouldn’t you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go where nobody at all knows your name. An engineer who travels appreciates that he needs to escape the busy world of deadlines, overbearing bosses, precious platitudes, and tedious arrest warrants. On the road (or the ocean), an engineer who travels can escape the hustle bustle from their day job, and the hitmen hired by Rob Ford for their evening job.
By now we’re sure you’ve been convinced to travel the world. And honestly, what excuse do you possibly have not to? Are you afraid of discovering truths about yourself? Are you afraid of expanding your horizons and better appreciating the world around you? Are you afraid of deadly exotic animals? Frankly, these excuses are bogus and you have no good reason to not withdraw a few thousand dollars from your trustfund, parents’ bank account, or line of credit and venture to see the world. Namaste.
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