Well hello there reader(s?). So nice of you to drop by. We’re writing the intro to this article having already written the rest of this article (what a twist!) and our mystery beverage is approximately half way finished, making us all approximately toasted. Allow us to introduce you to this mystery beverage in the following paragraph.
Psych! It’s the next paragraph.
This week, we’re taking on a mini-keg. These five litre vessels of beer can be found at your local LCBO and are fun to share. Once upon a time, people used to race through drinking these at the back of EngSoc meetings. Oh, those were the days.
Most people are familiar with the Heineken mini-kegs. The keg we chose for tonight’s escapades is St Peter’s Summer Ale. It’s five litres of 6.5% ABV beer. It’s important to remember that mini-kegs don’t keep well once opened. This means Graeme, Eric, and Derek have to drink it all tonight.
First, we open the keg. Derek turned the vent valve on the top, and the keg became a beer fountain. Some might say that it blew prematurely. This was detrimental to Graeme’s laptop, but he’s probably had his fair share of fluids on it before, so whatever. I now regret using Graeme’s laptop to write this article.
So how is this beer? Graeme starts off with the smell. He says it’s “like someone made a beer soap.” He also says that “my nose is stuffed up so don’t listen to me.”
Ok, beer break time! Lets review the newly released UW LipDub!
For those of you that are too young, or just don’t give a damn, in Fall 2011 students tried to organize a LipDub. They recorded one, but since the rights to the songs are expensive, they decided to use short clips of many songs. This would allow them to claim the songs were used under a “Fair Use” clause. Unfortunately, Canada doesn’t have this clause. For that reason, the University wouldn’t allow them to release it unless they could get the rights. Seeing as they used so many songs, that wouldn’t be possible.
But last week, someone leaked the video. They claimed that they “found this corrupted edition in the recycling bin on a library computer a year ago and fixed it.” That’s probably BS, but thanks to whoever leaked it, we can finally see Waterloo’s version of that thing that was popular on the internet two years ago.
In an unsurprising fashion, Waterloo didn’t quite get it. Typically, LipDubs involve LipDubbing, which Wikipedia defines as: “lip synching and audio dubbing to make a music video.” There’s only a few parts of Waterloo’s video that are actually dubbed, and the timing for them is way off. The video is over eight minutes long, which seems unnecessary since most of it is just people jumping around. Speaking of jumping, there’s a bunch of jump cuts. That’s interesting stylistic choice, since most one shot videos have… no jump cuts. Some people show off by doing flips and stuff, and Feridun (the Great Successor to David Johnston) makes a cameo to look out of place and smile creepily. On the plus side, there’s a cool aerial shot with a quadcopter, but it just shows the top of one of the campus’ most ugly buildings (hint: it looks like a sugar cube).
We give the LipDub One Pair of Puckered Lips out of a Brothel. We won’t specific which pair of lips. Since it took two years to make this eight minute waste of your time, you might as well Google it. That’s enough about LipDub, let get back to beer! Tim arrived so we can all drink less!
The St. Peters has a pretty agreeable taste. It’s a bit sweet with a malty taste. It has a light carbonation. It’s not exceptional, but definitely a drinkable beer. Drinkable is a good quality if you’re buying five litres of beer.
Remember kids: sharing is caring. So get yourself a caring-can (ie, mini-keg) of beer and some friends. This caring-can is the best one we’ve had, but the beer itself is above average at best. We give it 3.6969696969/5 Surly Bartenders.
Next time, we’ll have a half minute interview with the our President. He promises it will be satisfying, but brief. We’ll get you the cut version.
Leave a Reply