Let’s start with the obvious point of clarity; this article is not misnamed nor is the title an intentional (or unintentional) pun. This is a revolution.
Being myself a person who has never been wrong, I appreciate the feeling of being write more than anyone else I know. Being write is power: intense, throbbing power that can send you over the very edge of success. All that is needed is absolute knowledge of your own absolute writeness, logic be damned and objections negligible. In fact, the only thing that trumps being write is neurotically proving it and declaring your own writeness in any forum available.
But the best way to accomplish this (demonstrate your writeness beyond refute) is to write long and hard-hitting opinion pieces whose impact can still be felt for many hours afterword. Immortalizing your writeness in a well-respected publication like the Tin Soldier is the perfect way to ensure all that is inside you is spread indiscriminately to the masses. So, if the write way to be write is to write everything that is write, why bother splitting hairs? I hereby declare total amalgamation of the terms in which two come together to create a magical feeling that is oh so write.
It’s not difficult nor is it confusing. You already know that everything you feel is write. Accept it. And then force everyone else to do so. People will thank you for the astuteness and the utter writeness of your way of thinking. There is no sensation in the entirety of the human experience quite so satisfying as knowing you’ve had your way with a grateful world. See how easy it is? Step one: know you’re write. There is no step two. All that stands between you and eternal writeness is the conviction to just get to it in an impassioned public display.
Who says that people are meant to make mistakes? Those without the foresight to simply always be write! By being write, you can ensure that your voice is heard (and read). Being write is the only way to be seen as a intelligent and capable. Being write will centralize you in the thoughts and fantasies of others. Being write will make you a winner.
And everyone wants to be a winner! A hypothetical poll probably confirmed that 100 percent of those asked would prefer winning to losing (being wrong). Because in the end, being wrong is just not the same as being write. Being wrong is the kind of basic act which is sure to be awkward and at least a little bit dirty.
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