Editor’s Note: This article is published in print as part of The Tin Soldier – a satirical and humorous insert published with the final issue of each university term. Articles that are part of The Tin Soldier are not meant to be taken literally or seriously.
-Undergraduates would be known as Pokémon trainers.
-After receiving an undergraduate degree, students could then further their education by getting their Pokémon Masters.
-Should anyone ever get a Pokémon PhD, they could become a Pokémon Professor.
-Pokémon professors would hire 10 year olds to go out into the world to do their research. The 10 year olds would be armed with dangerous Pokémon and would do battle against strangers for money, gamble in Casinos, and face deadly wild Pokémon. It’s for the sake of science though, so there’s nothing wrong with any of that.
-Should a student desire to stop their education after becoming a Pokémon Trainer, they can go and find a cave or a patch of tall grass somewhere and spend the rest of their days challenging “researching” 10 year olds to battle against them and their severely under leveled Pokémon. If they don’t fight you, then you can stop them from continuing their research.
-If the 10 year olds get bored of running from city to city they can teach “Fly” to a Pidgey (a pigeon-sized Pokémon), and fly it to destinations they have previously visited. They can even fly on fainted Pidgeys! If that’s not Pokémon cruelty I don’t know what is!
-Pokémon breeders are known thus because they like to breed with… Never mind.
-There would be fewer evolution skeptics.
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