*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***
Occupy the Orifice!!!
We the People are fed up with 20% of the EngSoc executives drinking 99% of the CnD coffee. It has brought the People much strife due to a lack of caffeine. We demand the exec find an alternative source of caffeine.
In addition, 15% of the exec use 20% of the Orifice computers. This is unacceptable – more computer availability is needed for the 99% of the undergraduate engineering students who are not exec. We demand EngSoc does not allow exec to use the Orifice computers anymore.
Until these demands are met, we will form a human chain around the Orifice to prevent exec from going on bathroom breaks.
Occupy POETS!!!
Scratch what was said above. We the People are even more fed up with the lack of room in POETS – only 1% of engineering undergrads can sit on the couches. The 99% demand a seat on a couch for every undergrad.
The 99% also demand more engineering oriented POETS programming. From now on, Mythbusters and How It’s Made need to be playing 24/7. The cartoons and movies we have seen in POETS all term do nothing to foster an intelligent learning environment.
If our demands are not met we will set up tents in POETS indefinitely. We will also form a human chain to prevent shipments of BEvERages from arriving in POETS. The 1% will be helpless without their precious BEvERages.
Occupy ALL the Things!!!
The 99% has now reached a new decision – nothing is right within engineering. Therefore, we will Occupy ALL the things until further notice. This includes the purple/orange/multi-coloured statue outside of CPH and the CnD (protestors please remove backpacks before entering the CnD or you will be coffee-sprayed by unrepentant employees).
USB 3G
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