*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***
On Saturday November 25th, the Engineering Society partook in the 189th annual Kitchener-Waterloo Santa Claus Parade. With a full sized tractor trailer, student teams’ vehicles and minty fresh candy canes in hand, the float departed on the journey to re-kindle holiday cheer. However, there was a small hitch during the parade:
[Chorus] Santa got run over by the Tool
walkin’ down King Street, so naive.
You can say there’s no such thing as the Tool.
But us Engineers and Mary, we believe.
Santa been drinkin’ too much egg nog.
And he really, really, really had to go.
But he had forgot his whereabouts,
and waddled off the path onto parade row.
When Santa hit the movin’ Tool,
he made a very big loud whack.
He had ridges on his forehead,
And incriminatin’ chrome marks on his back.
[Chorus]
Now were all so proud of Santa.
He’s been takin’ this so well.
We see him laying there in POETS,
drinkin’ beer and playin’ more cowbell.
It’s not Christmas without Santa.
And the family dressed in black.
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Should EngSoc be invited back?
[Chorus]
Soon the food will be on the table.
At the Potluck in the eve.
And a chrome and ridged handle,
will be there to never leave.
Please tell all your friends and neighbours.
“Watch out while walking parade row.”
As EngSoc has a Tool,
And it ain’t stopping even if you have to go!
[Chorus]
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