Howdy sexy engineers
So we know we promised last issue to give you tips on how to get a date, but after our emails got flooded after our first issue, we decided to cover a different topic.
Dear CBG. Thank you for your amazing advice in the first issue. The tips you gave really boosted my confidence and allowed me to make great first impressions. However, I need your help. Although I believe I can now meet people with perfect ease, I am worried I won’t make a good impression because I don’t have the perfect body. Much appreciated:
Everybody knows that external appearance is of prime importance when it comes to finding your partner (or if you believe in it, your soulmate). But how do you get the physique that compares to the boys on L.M.F.A.O.? Going to the gym takes too much time, especially for you boys and girl in Engineering who have to spend so much time in the classroom and labs (and obviously not in bedrooms).
We at CBG Inc. encourage you to try to go to the gym at least once a week, for just fifteen mintues. Now, you might be pondering “Are fifteen minutes really enough?” Short answer: YES IT IS! Let us explain. It is all about being efficient. Some so-called “trainers” tell you that you need to do three reps of 10 at whatever weight you may lift (I bench press 30 lbs). Well, as engineerings, you already know all about efficiency. Instead of three reps of 10 at 30 lbs, why not do one rep of 3 at 300 lbs. Do this at all machines, and you will be set. Some trainers may tell you to do cardiovacular exercises. Please kindly disregard them. They are losers. Cardio will actually make your heart beat more than it normally should hence causing premature failure (if you know what we mean *wink wink*).
Do you not have any time to go to the gym? That is ok! There are ways to get the workout you need right at home. First way to do it is get on your couch and put in P90X. Through the power of osmosis, you will get the workout you need. The procedure is actually kind of simple. You procure a copy of the P90X workout regimen and play it on your DVD player. You can then proceed to do all of your daily activities as usual and you should end up being perfectly fit (quite like Jason Statham). Another way is to see Bruce Willis movies. When you see a man with the charisma of Bruce, your eye glands produce steroids which get absorbed into your lacrimal duct and reach your blood through the complex pathway of the Kreb’s cycle which ultimately should deposit iron into your abs (which later combines with cellular carbon) producing abs of steel.
Furthermore, it should be noted that all of our studies are not in fact approved by the FDA and the International Association of International Associations in any way — they don’t acknowledge our ‘science’. I hope this helps you gain confidence by building up your superficial appearance and thus “Your Game”.
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