Never in my entire life have I wanted anything more than I want a whiteboard in the newspaper’s office. Every effing day, I look at this trash bag of a makeshift whiteboard, that is stuck to the wall by the sheer force of static, and the first thing I do is commend it for being there for the newspaper. The second thing I really want to do is rip it apart and throw it in the trash. But that would mean we have no whiteboard. And while this sheet-bag-whiteboard is no use to us because it is not dry erase and what is written on here has been here since before my time, throwing it out would make it way too real. I just cannot face the fact that The Iron Warrior’s office does not have a whiteboard.
A few solutions were suggested by the wonderful staff to combat this problem. There was the talk of bringing in stone tablets to chip away our ideas on. One of us even went rock hunting and came back with limestone that disintegrated at the slightest touch of a chisel. There was the talk of painting the walls with ideas but we quickly realized that this would ruin the carpet in the room. Finally, we went to WEEF with a quote for how much a whiteboard would cost and why we needed it and we never heard back. The staff writers are going crazy because they cannot visualize any ideas without a problem. I caught one of them eating paper thinking that it would be a great canvas for the ideas in the digestive tract. This is what it has come to. We need a whiteboard.