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Affirmative Admissions Plan Implemented Next Fall for Students from High Grade-Inflation Schools

Yesterday the University of Waterloo announced that, as part of a new equity and diversity initiative, it will give students from under-performing schools priority admittance.

The new affirmative admissions plan will give students from ‘unprivileged’ schools with high grade inflation a better chance of getting into Waterloo. The “privileged” schools, which displayed a trend of student success,  will now have an even higher standard for their students to meet so that more students from schools that are under performing to have the chance to attend Waterloo.

Proposals for entrance exams were shot down by Chancellor Canad Ian Goosington, who scolded administration for suggesting “such a preposterous idea”, reminding everyone that Einstein believed that you cannot “judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree”. He repeated the quote 10 times and vetoed any motion to create entrance exams.

“Why don’t you understand that not everyone is graded equally?” he stated. “We need to give these struggling schools a chance!”

“Those kids who go to the low inflation schools are way too privileged,” stated Timothy Greene, an eleventh grade student from Grimsby Secondary School. “I was from a school ranking high on the grade-inflation list and I’m doing just fine. I (barely) passed all my courses last term. I don’t go to a ‘hard school’ per se, but that doesn’t mean I don’t work hard right?”

This decision was done largely due to public outcries and a total of 100 million dollars worth of lawsuits from various private schools with a notoriously high ranking on the inflation list. In addition, many parents whose children were rejected from Waterloo also spoke out about how the university purposely rejected their children just because they go to the so-called high-ranking schools.

“This is unfair!” stated A. Parent. “My child received a 100 average, won 10 subject awards, was the valedictorian of the private school on the list, and I know he was hard-working, so I can’t believe that the Waterloo University has the audacity to tell me my son didn’t do enough! I was so happy to hear that my son will be admitted next year, after completing 3 additional months at the high school down the road.”

However, there were some opposition, mainly from students from the low inflation schools. One student stated that this would probably result in more students failing out of university, because some schools heavily inflate their marks for the sake of getting their students into university at the cost of learning.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” stated a student from a low inflation school, who’s identity has been concealed to protect her safety. “This would not address the grade-inflation problem, but only enhance it, since every school would do this once they know about it.”

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