How to Speak Like an Engineering Student

Want to speak like one of the smartest student groups on campus? Engspeak is a difficult language to master. However, do not fear! This simple guide will bring you up to speed in no time.

Understand the common tongue

The topics that engineers talk about fall into 5 major categories:

1. Technology
2. Anime
3. Video Games
4. Jobs
5. Courses

Stay up-to-date with these “trending” topics, and you’ll be considered a local.

Throw in some fancy phrases

The true test of whether you fit in depends on your use of fancy catch-phrases. For example, research shows that the most commonly used catch phrases when courses are discussed are “take the L” and “look forward to the curve”. Use these and they won’t even suspect you’re an outsider.

Do not yield

We take our school’s beliefs seriously. Like a warrior, we don’t yield easily.

This translated into layman’s terms means – we never accept defeat in an argument.

We know that we are always right.

So, how can you do the same? For starters, no matter how ill-constructed your reasoning is, just don’t give in. Also, remember – raising your voice to display your enthusiasm and to force your beliefs will be your strongest weapon.

There’s no mansplaining. We explain.

Is it considered mansplaining if women do it too?

As future engineers, we believe in no discrimination. All of us take part in a healthy amount of advising.

Since we know we are always right, why not use this skill by advising everyone around us? There will be people who will oppose you with what they consider to be “sound reasoning” and “personal beliefs”. Beware of these people who have gone astray. Fortunately, we have a strategy in place to deal with them (see the next point).

Do not listen

The most lethal weapon in an engineering student’s possession.

The best way to counter your opponents is to never let them speak.

This works in two-fold – not only does it not allow any opposing beliefs to find their way into the discussion, it also forces your beliefs on anyone participating in the discussion.

With these points in mind, you may proceed to successfully act like you are one among us.

Good Luck!