Amidst the general state of disaster of modern affairs, China – with it’s glitzy industrializing wealth and famously polite tourists – looks to be having a sort of golden age. Xi Jinping’s quiet, politely dictatorial manner seems noble and pleasant compared with Trump’s irascible tweeting and Putin’s habit of poisoning all and sundry.
It is to the great benefit of America and Russia that President Xi is beneficent as well as majestic; recognizing that his compatriots light could not but seem dim compared to his radiant communist glory, he has deigned to allow them to save face by filtering his magnificence through a few trifling human rights scandals.
The traditional avenue for this has been through Tibet, but President Xi is innovative as well as wise, and has taken care to ensure that Xinjiang is not entirely neglected in this portioning of autocratic ardor.
President Xi has always had a close and loving relationship with the loyal, communist citizens of Xinjiang, but lately Beijing has stepped up the love by building free “vocational centers” to combat extremism.
There was some initial controversy, as aerial pictures from the United Nations showing these camps were roundly denied by Communist Party officials, in a surprising show of diplomatic modesty. At the time the pictures were taken, the vocational centers did not yet exist. There was a minor bureaucratic obstruction to their existence; Party officials were so distracted by the great and weighty love that they bore the Uyghur people that, in their haste to set up the proper infrastructure, they had forgotten to formally legalize the proceedings.
By the wisdom of President Xi, this issue was resolved on the 10th of October, when the provincial government of Xinjiang legalized the re-education camps, whereupon they began existing.
These vocational camps have exploded in popularity, with over one million Uyghurs “willingly” entering them to learn about the glory of Communism and President Xi. According to Global Times, an unbiased PRC state publication, de-extremism efforts ‘changed local lives for the better’.
One man, who had his life changed for the better, was Jurat Memet, who bravely shared his story with the Global Times. A ‘get rich quick’ scheme gone wrong landed him in a radical Islamic training camp, where they ‘acquired assassination skills’ and were only allowed to eat peanuts, but fortunately, the Chinese government arrested him and sent him to a training center, where vocational training and love for the Party has allowed him to turn his life around.
Unfortunately, UN officials believe such camps are unlikely to work in other countries, because trainees would not be as motivated without a powerful and benevolent leader like Xi Jinping to guide them.
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