Tin Soldier

Podcasts

Podcasts have been gaining a lot of traction lately. They’re like radio shows but actually relevant. Whether you’re driving to work, cooking, or doing other mundane tasks, podcasts are good for passing the time and absorbing a different type of media. I like them because now instead of being snotty and hipster about your 24 hour and 12 minute Spotify premium playlist that you listen to on your daily work commute while stopping by Balzac’s on the way, you can expand on that narcissism by mentioning podcasts that further alienate you from societies’ everymen hating on your culture. So how do you approach this asymptotic level of chicness so you can once again attempt to conform to the fast-changing cultural tastes of western civilization? Choosing the right podcast(s) is key to cementing yourself as a trustworthy connoisseur of media.

Finding a good podcast feels similar to a dog digging through the ground trying to find his bone, except he took a shit where the bone was and also found out that the bone wasn’t actually hidden there, so he just decided to roll in the shit. In the real life case, it could take a long time to roll around the highly shilled popular crap to chase a niche bone that may or may not be there, so you might as well enjoy it like the dirty capitalist dog you are. That’s right, who’s a good boy?

When it comes to choosing a genre, there are many to select from, some being true crime, satire, fiction, mystery, or the classic lads hangin’ around a living room and chilling but only this time they record it and put it on the internet. It’s a sick idea bro trust me. Satirical podcasts are good if you want a real good laugh and then experience the slow realization that you’re not funny yourself. True crime podcasts are always interesting because you can really delve into the minds of the criminals, only to be freaked out because you’ve been listening at 2AM and now you double check that the door to your apartment is locked and all the knives in your drawer are dulled. Either that or you’re sharpening them and knocking on the door of that one roommate who doesn’t do the dishes and plays DOTA at night with their friends without headphones the night before your toughest midterm. I guess it depends on who you are. Finding the “right” podcast isn’t that important though, as you’re prone to researching a bunch and sorting through them but end up picking something from /r/podcasts’ top post of all time.

So instead of finding the right podcast (or alternatively, if you’ve exhausted your personal list) why not try making your own? Craving approval of strangers on the internet is only natural, so you might as well act like you’re doing it for the love and pursuit of true art and writing. But first you’ll need the right equipment. Investing in microphones, pop filters, and soundboards is a good start, but don’t forget about the people you need to have nearby to get the podcast started. Be sure to get in touch with any audio engineers, co-hosts, and make-up artists before you premiere your first episode. Equipment and people still won’t make your podcast worthy of views though; you also need a good idea. Try interviewing pop stars in a Nardwuar-esque fashion. But since you probably don’t have the money nor the clout for that, your local soundcloud rapper will do just fine. Another idea could be watching an Olive Garden commercial 60 times in a row and reviewing it each loop with your friends (no I’m not joking, this exists. Look up GardenCast on YouTube). If you’re going to waste 30 minutes of your life, might as well waste it collectively with all your viewers. At least you’re the one getting ad revenue out of it.

In the odd case your podcast somehow gains traction and you feel the validation that you never received as a kid, it might be tough living up to the expectations of your fans. That’s why you should create a patreon so you can have dedicated fans support you every month. It’ll incentivize you to continue making the podcast during the heavy school months, and in the case it flops, you can still take the money and run without any regret. And it’ll be forgivable because there’s always going to be a podcast better than yours anyway that listeners can spend their money supporting.

Hopefully this guide gets you a solid foundation on your journey through the oversaturated podcast market. But don’t fall behind the multimedia market trends. Once my idea of Morse-Code rap battles takes off, you’ll want to invest in that so you can garner those patreons too.

 

 

 

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