Tin Soldier

Tin soldier chad school

It was nice to be a Chad school while it lasted. The Waterloo Warriors started the season strong on Chad status; beating Windsor 54-33 just before the school year. We had just stepped up from being the ‘virgins’ and were making history the next week by taking down York in dominating fashion, 52-8. Then, against University of Toronto, we came out on top, once again proving that we’re better than them in all aspects, and always will be (this is definitely 100% true). Our last win of the season came against Carleton in a nail biter, and after that 45-43 win, we had achieved M E G A C H A D status. Unfortunately, everything changed when we faced Laurier. It was a battle of the Chads (which totally sounds better than Battle of Waterloo): Chad University vs. Chad High School. Sadly, we were defeated 24-71, and demoted from full Chad status to 0.8 Chad status. Furthermore, we kept going down in rough matches, dropping to Guelph in a close 49-53 match, Queen’s 17-68, and Ottawa 30-40. Now we’re half virgins, half Chad, which I guess is better than what we were initially known for, and that’s one of the biggest improvements Waterloo has done in the last 10 years. We had a taste of victory, and it was delicious. Sweet, creamy victory. I fully commend our football team for doing so well and giving Waterloo a better name in terms of sports.

Now you may be asking, why is this in the Tin Soldier and not the regular part of the paper? Well that’s because it’s … kind of funny. We tried so hard, and got so far, and you know what? We still have things over Laurier. We have a better engineering program! Honestly, as long as we can still make fun of UofT, I think we’ll be fine.

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