Sun and high temperatures did nothing to dampen the spirits of revelers in Toronto Sunday before last as the WorldPride festival drew to a close. The 10 day festival celebrates the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) individuals. The pride festival encourages everyone to be proud of who they are, a fact that is irrespective of sexual orientation. Waterloo was represented by the Tool, fifty past and present Waterloo Engineering students and a FEDS contingent of one hundred. They joined several other universities and over 12,000 other people who walked, danced, roller skated and rode floats in support of the LGBT community worldwide. The University of Waterloo itself has a strong LGBT community centered around the GLOW center for sexual and gender diversity located in the SLC.
The WorldPride festival is a forum for activism and education. More than that, it is a festival, one where people can celebrate without judgement what it is to love yourself and to love each other. Being in the parade was a very unique experience. Contrary to normal parades I feel that it was the audience, not the floats that were the most interesting. Drag artists in resplendent costumes were located intermittently along the route providing a commentary as the parade passed them. People with water pistols eased the heat and everyone seemed to be in a celebratory attitude. The dress code within the boundaries of the festival seemed to be shirts and shorts optional so personalities really shone through. Many people embraced costumes and body painting, sometimes with very political messages.
As we walked in the parade I was struck by just how much love there was in our audience. For many queer couples the level of acceptance they found in Toronto this was a rare chance to act as a couple in public. In fact, for 120 queer couples it was a honeymoon period, only 3 days after their mass wedding at Casa Loma. The wedding took place with representatives of 12 faiths and gave the lucky couples the chance to tie the knot, a right not yet available to same-sex couples in many countries.
Being a person who is not heterosexual can be challenging whether you are in small town Canada or a country where threats of imprisonment or death might be the consequence of belonging to the LGBT community. Legally the rights of LGBT people vary widely from country to country. Things like having or adopting children, telling other people what it is like to be queer and access to gender reassignment resources are dealt with very differently.
Even in Canada, which is known for openness towards diversity, we have not yet reached equality. Legally we are doing pretty well at granting equal rights but socially and culturally there are still barriers. Once someone has realized that they are not interested in the opposite sex they have to go through the difficult process of coming out of the closet. Then they spend the rest f their lives wondering when exactly is the right time if any to tell the new people in their lives. For many this process and this self inflicted secrecy can seriously affects their relationships with family and friends.
Personally I am an ally, I believe in equal civil rights for everyone regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, racial background etc. People are people that is all there is to it. I am lucky to have parents who will support me no matter what I am or who my friends are. (My dad actually said once that it would be okay if I was a lesbian because then he wouldn’t need to worry about me getting pregnant. Thanks, dad.) I am really lucky. Recently however one of my friends from high school came out. He had been dating his long distance boyfriend for months and his parents were really unhappy about it. They moved him out of the house and refused to let him tell his younger siblings. Sadly enough this isn’t uncommon. In some cultures traditions are not easily broken. In small towns oddities are not smoothly acknowledged. I know others who knew they were gay in highschool but were too afraid of rejection to come out. They waited for university to come out openly so that small town judgement couldn’t hurt them.
It is a straight man’s world. We don’t even realize it until we look closer. There are plenty of male washrooms and female washrooms but few that are just washrooms. What do you do if you are transgendered identifying as a woman in a mans’ body or vise versa? Residences are segregated by gender. What are they trying to prevent? Is it awkward for a queer first year student to come out to the same people who they share thinly curtained shower stalls with? Then of course there is dating. There aren’t exactly a lot of clues now are there? Dating is a precarious process no matter what but the stakes are higher if you are looking for someone of the same sex. Some people are very vocal about their beliefs and don’t wish to acknowledge different beliefs or lifestyles. If you wrongly approach someone who is straight and doesn’t exactly see eye to eye with you it won’t go well.
In engineering we tend not to think about emotions much. Professors don’t discuss feelings in class, after all, that is not the point of calculus or physics. As a result engineering students confronting emotional things like their sexuality often feel very alone. The same things that make the cohort system awesome can also make it very terrifying, you will be with these people for five years of your life, you want them to like you! There are people here who can never go to their home countries because of their sexuality. As an ally I am here to lend an ear and a helping hand to anyone who is struggling with these issues. That is why the presence of Waterloo Engineering with all our official tool bearing glory, was important at the pride parade. Engineering isn’t some dark oppressive thing where calculations and simulations slowly kill our compassion. There will always be friends among your classmates ready to support you as you embrace what makes you different. I would like to encourage whoever you are reading this article who feels as I do to take a stance by in some way expressing to your class that you are okay with someone being LGBT. Wear a pin or simply tell a friend to tell more friends that you are (or are not) okay with them whether they are straight, queer, trans or bisexual. Having a friend to confide in can mean the world at these times.
Now, in conclusion I would like to propose to you a completely different world, potentially the world of the future: one where population control is paramount so all couples are same-sex and all children come into the world by specially chosen donors. Now, in this world you, a hotblooded male, have gotten a girl pregnant. (*gasp*). Imagine that conversation with your parental unit. “Mom, mommy, I have something to tell you…I got Suzy pregnant. We’ve been dating for the past three years, we signed the papers for a civil union three days ago. I didn’t know how to tell you guys. After all you were trying so hard to set me up, first with Tom, then Jimmy, then John. But it just isn’t who I am. Men excite me just as much as a flower might. I find them pleasing, but nothing like Suzy. ” Your moms look at you in horror and you wonder just how long it will take for things to get back to normal now that you aren’t like them anymore. That is what equality is trying to overcome. The person you are is not defined by the gender of person you are romantically attracted to.
Please be an Ally, not an opponent.
If you or someone you know are struggling with your sexuality or are simply in need of emotional support counselling services are available FOR FREE in Needles Hall room 2080 (519-888-4567 x 32655). If you are in a crisis call the Mobile Crisis Team (519-744-1813), the University of Waterloo Police (519-888-4911). More resources are available through the Counselling Services web page (uwaterloo.ca/counselling-services) There are also three engineering-specific counselors. Set up an appointment by contacting the Engineering Counselling Office CPH 1320, (519) 888-4761 (extension 84761 on-campus) The GLOW center in the SLC is also an excellent resource and a great way to meet people who are going through the same thing.
Be Proud Waterloo!
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