May 29: Sunny, with brief showers, with a high of 23. If you were born on this day, expect to find that your missed chances will grow into new opportunities. Welcome conflict on this day, but be prepared to compromise. Make sure that you call your parents and grandparents!
May 30: Golden sunshine all day, with a high of 21. Good day for suntanning, swimming, and slaying vampires. Avoid grapefruit. May 30 birthdays will find everything going right for them on this day, except for the gift that your aunt will send you. Send her a thank-you card anyway.
May 31: Hot and muggy, some thunderstorms. Just high. Stay inside. Don’t open your door or windows. Don’t look outside. Don’t investigate that knocking. As long as you are inside, you are safe. Whatever you do, do not let down your guard. It is always watching….
June 1: Cloudy, somewhat colder. High of 22. Social awareness is at its highest today. Stick with a group when traveling. Appreciate your friends and business relationships. If it is your birthday, happy birthday!
June 2: Cloudy and even colder. High is not an appropriate word. Wear a sweater, but not earmuffs – today you can’t afford to look ridiculous. Watch for a tall man with a penchant for hats. If today is your birthday, wear a hat, and possibly stilts, so that others will watch for you.
June 3: Sunny, but still cool. High of 18. On this day, wear sunglasses – they make you look cool. Prepare for a moral dilemma. When faced with a difficult choice, choose the path of greatest resistance. Use your self-confidence to succeed, and nothing will stand in your way. Bluster through with confidence, rocking those shades every step of the way.
June 4: Finally, some nice warm weather! High of 22. People born on this day will find that they can’t seem to get anyone to listen to them. If you want your voice to be heard, there is only one solution. Be firm, and speak out confidently! Rip out people’s earbuds and roar at the top of your voice. Use a megaphone if necessary. Whatever it takes to get your point across.
June 5: Cloudy and depressing. High on crack. Sit around and mope. Today is a good day for feeling sorry for yourself. If it is your birthday today, you suck. Binge eating and drinking seem increasingly attractive.
June 6: Both sunny and cloudy, with a high of 23. Your life is looking up. Prepare for exciting news, both positive and less positive. Face everything with a grin. Talk to new people, catch up with old friends, and reconnect with family – above all, do it with a huge grin on your face. Make those teeth shine.
June 7: Sunny, with just a few clouds. High of 23, again – you’d think the weather had more imagination. Today is a good day for creativity. If it is your birthday, you will find that your internal power has increased greatly over the past year. Use it wisely. Generate electricity with it, or heat up a room. Don’t let that energy go to waste. Lower your consumption, and increase productivity. Above all, don’t let anyone bring you down. Stay at the top of that damn crane, no matter what anybody says. Keep up your confidence, and the world will lie at your feet, roll over, and play fetch.
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