Note: This article is mainly comprised of QR Codes and captions, hence why there is very little writing. Keep that in mind while you peruse the minimal amount of text there is for this article, and if you want the whole experience, pick up an actual copy of the Iron Warrior!
Every other week, we here at Topz (with a Z) pour over our column while sipping on our pour-overs from Pizza Pizza, because they have the free wifi. But then we noticed what was on the monitors of every other person in this café: gifs, gifs, and gifs (pronounced gifs, gifs, and gifs, respectively). And then it occurred to us: why are we even trying when we can be raking in ad revenue (money we steal from Alex Lee every time we hear someone talk about our column … we’ve earned it!). So instead we are trying our hand at the absolute lowest, laziest, and mindless pandering garbage. It’s not that we are being lazy ourselves; this is commentary … and two days past the deadline for article submission!
1 When someone mentions something that was popular when you were 13 and almost everyone likes, thus making them your soul mate
OMG Nostalgia!
2 When someone makes a scandalous reference to an act that literally everyone’s biological parents have done
Sex! We’re talking about SEX!
3 When the brainwashed finally learn the truth about drugs
Actually drugs can solve all problems, dumbass
4 That feel that only people desperate to feel like they are a part of a community will understand
You like that massively popular TV show? I like that massively popular TV show!
5 When someone makes the vaguest possible connection to a trending celebrity
Famous person?! I’ve heard of famous person!
6 That feel when you realize this article meant to mock lazy writing is probably your most read to date
We hate you people, seriously.
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