A 25 year old man from Geneva was arrested after a bout of bizarre atmospheric activity.
The incident began at midnight, when police received a grunty call reporting mysterious lightning above the farmhouse on the University of Waterloo North Campus. The area is popular with entrepreneurs, amorous sheep, and lost frosh. The grunty caller also offered a description of a suspicious vehicle nearby.
The farmhouse was deserted when the police arrived, except for several van der Graff generators and a lingering scent of old blood.
The suspect was later spotted in front of the Student Life Centre, and arrested at gunpoint. When officers searched his vehicle, they found an assortment of scalpels, syringes, and stained bandages. These items were seized by police.
The man told investigators he was using the scalpels and syringes for surgical practice, as he was a doctor. The bandages, he insisted, were a coincidence and something he hadn’t gotten around to throwing out. When asked why he had been in the North Campus, he claimed that he had been studying the geese. The suspect retained a melancholic and cooperative demeanour during the interrogation.
The suspect was detained overnight at his own request, and released in the morning. He faces charges of practising necromantic medicine without a licence and literary misallusion.
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